Self-inquiry with Jeff Brown

Sunday, April 21, 2024

At KECC Metchosin, BC

There were nine participants in attendance for this Sunday afternoon meeting at the Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada location at 538 Swanwick Rd. in Metchosin. It was a sunny day, a little on the cold and windy side, and we decided to hold the meeting on the front lawn. We were treated with the beautiful ocean and mountain views and the lovely Gary Oak trees giving the property its delightful variety of objects such as grass, bushes, rocks and clouds floating in a blue sky. After some moments of silence there was a sharing of a contrasting reality that seemed to hold all objects in an open space which penetrated their solidity. Jeff asked if anyone had a question they would like to explore with the group and this awakened a few lines of inquiry which became more and more absorbing. The discussion turned to the strange fact of this existence of emptiness and fullness at the same time, as spoken of in Buddhist texts from long ago. There was a quality of mystery and a sense, at least for some, of being without separation from one’s surroundings. Each dialoguer expressed his or her own experience of known and unknown as we explored our sense of self or no-self. It was difficult to describe, but participants made valiant attempts at putting words to the blend of form and emptiness which most seemed to register in the present moment. The noticing of a few fences on the property triggered thoughts of division and a recognition that we may all be as guilty as anyone of creating division while pretending that we are only interested in togetherness and sharing. We may not, it was said, be as innocent of creating separation as we’d like to think.

The conversation turned to a questioning of relationships and their value. What value does right relationship have, and what about so-called “healing relationship?” it was asked. As is often the case in our dialogues, the nature of the self was brought forward for examination along with the nature of conflict and its source or root. How much self-protection do we surround ourselves with as we go about our daily lives? Can we learn about our defensiveness as we observe our reactions in our lives. Such seemed to be the essence of Krishnamurti’s teachings.

The group appeared to be enjoying itself as we continued to question the nature of our experience. We gave up trying to stay warm as the day grew colder and moved to the Gatehouse for some tasty fruit and cookies, along with further conversation and enjoyment of each other’s company.

DB

Self-inquiry with Jeff Brown

April 14, 2024

At Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada

Metchosin, BC

Ten people were present in total for this Sunday afternoon meeting at the Metchosin location of the Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada. It was a sunny afternoon providing an opportunity to sit outside on the front lawn for the first time this year. The weather turned more cold and windy as the afternoon progressed, but most of the participants seemed to be fairly comfortable and able to enjoy the outdoors with the mountains, the ocean, and the trees all providing a lovely natural setting for the discussion of our true identity as human beings and perhaps beyond.

Jeff, our facilitator for the session, introduced a number of ideas about the functioning of the brain which were based on the experience of Jill Bolte Taylor when she had a spontaneous awakening resulting from, as she described it, a stroke in the left side of her brain which revealed to her capacities which had been previously completely unknown. Jeff had spoken previously of the extraordinary shift in Jill’s consciousness produced by this sudden change in the functioning of her brain which she had described as an opening of capacities which Jeff took to be similar in many ways to the mystical aspects of J. Krishnamurti’s experiences which formed much of the essence of his understandings and the teachings which emerged from them.

For both Krishnamurti and Taylor it was clear that thought cannot possibly describe the wholeness of the reality perceived by the right side of the brain, which shows the world in a non-linear and translogical mode that the left side cannot grasp but which can offer a deeper meaning and comprehension of what is possible for a human being to see and feel. Krishnamurti often spoke of the benediction that was available when thought became silent and that which is beyond thought could then reveal itself. We explored at some length the possibilities of entering into the unknown. Can we experience the unknown through our own efforts? Can the separate self that conditions our usual mode of experiencing life ever be vulnerable and sensitive to the truth beyond its own habitual ways of knowing reality? Do we need to cling to our familiar identity, our ideas of who and what we are? Can we move past the stuckness of our assumptions about ourselves and what is possible for us as human beings? Can we experience ourselves beyond our common and known identities? Just bringing up the questions seemed to create more space and openness in the group.

DB

What is Real Inquiry?

March 20 – 24, 2024

With Jackie McKinley

Zoom Online

Jackie joined us online from the UK for two hours each of five days with the intention of going deeply into the question of what inquiry really is. Five days was considered to offer enough time to penetrate the issue in a way that might open up some significant “understanding” or insight into what J. Krishnamurti meant in his talks and writings by inquiry and/or self-observation. Fourteen people were present, including staff working with the Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada.

After the usual silent period Jackie shared a wondering about why people keep coming back to participate in the group dialogue process as “practised” within the context of Krishnamurti’s teachings and his approach to self-knowledge and self-transformation. And is the first step, the way we begin, important? What goes on behind the activity of thought or “the mind”? Is there actually much inquiry, looking, or observation actually going on? Are we actually aware of what is happening in our unconscious minds, our conditioned consciousness, as individuals and as expressions of the human race? How much do we miss when we look within ourselves? Are we aware or are we just thinking?

Jackie narrowed down the question to “What do I really want?” and encouraged group members to share their responses freely. Some of the answers were as follows:

– I want to understand what conditioning is

– I want to live in awareness as a felt sense

– I want to practise inquiry

– I would like to move beyond expectations and to see myself directly

– I want wholeness

– I would like to be involved in self-inquiry in a fuller way

– I want to share with others and explore our connectivity as humans

– I want clarification

– I want to have more fun in my life

– I want to be more alive

– I’d like to understand the source of my difficulties and I need help with this process

– I want honest communication

– I want intimacy, a pleasurable sharing with others physically, emotionally, and intellectually.

– I want distance from others at times

One participant expressed that as we engaged in the sharing he felt there was a kind of “peeling away” which felt like intimacy. Another asked if we were pushing down our desiring or wanting, and what happens when we do that? Are there desires I dare not look at? Do I fear being judged for my desires? Do I have space for looking at my wants, my fears, and my secrets? Would I just like to relax? Can I step out of myself? Does our sharing open us up or the opposite?

The feelings of “emptiness” and fear were mentioned and the issue of “managing” such feelings was discussed. We went into numerous such questions over the course of the five days, seeking greater revealing of our hidden tendencies, beliefs, and ideas. At times the inquiry process seemed very challenging to stay with and it was difficult to keep finding the meaning in what was being shared, though we kept pushing more deeply into the layers of our thinking and feeling. Core aspects of our identities were brought forward and the way we hold on to “content” in our way of behaving and relating or “let go” of it was examined. We asked if we have hidden motivations and, if so, how do we discover them? Are we really creating a “safe space” for each other?

The subject of contradiction in ourselves was raised. Krishnamurti maintained that thought is contradictory in its very nature. We often avoid the contradictions that influence our lives. Are we “doing” this by choice or is it mostly unconscious behaviour? How clearly do we see the movements of the “I” in all our thoughts and actions and is this an important aspect of “meditation” as K speaks of it? Do we resist inquiry at a deep level? Are we using thought to explore thought and is that not limited? What did K mean when he spoke or wrote of “negation”?

Over the five days of dialogue we seemed to cover a great deal of ground. Towards the end our attention moved towards the meaning of “love” and the reality of “sorrow” and “separateness”. Finally we came to the question of “emptying” the consciousness, which seemed to bring a sense of completion without a sense of conclusion.

Thank you, Jackie, for your wise and skillful guidance into the realm of inquiry