Exploring Ourselves, September 21, 2024

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Exploring Ourselves 

With Jackie McInley 

September 21, 2024 

Online Meeting 

 

Eight people were present for this online meeting sponsored by the Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada with Jackie McInley facilitating. She shared some introductory ideas about the purpose and structure of a “dialogue” meeting. There are at least two levels to the structure of the dialogue. The first level is what is happening on the surface and the second is that which is going on behind or beneath the surface, including the motives of the participants in sharing what they do. Group members can be aware of these hidden motives, Jackie has noticed, to varying degrees. As the group process unfolds, the motive or motives start to reveal themselves and some participants are willing to stay with the exploration. David Bohm emphasised this willingness to stick with the process. 

Jackie led us in a quiet sit for about five minutes then asked if anything had come up to be looked at. Did we get pulled into thought or did we remain free of thought? One person brought up the topic of taking things personally that are not meant to be taken so. “Do we take ourselves seriously when we need not do so, and can that issue be looked into?” Another introduced an observation that the mind creates images of the self, which might be explored as well. Does the mind have any choice about the matter? Is one caught up in the self-image or can there be freedom? Does the image I have about myself create conflict? Can this be seen and some freedom be experienced? Can we go into such questions together, as Krishnamurti said, and can we discover something new about ourselves? 

The question of hurt was raised. Is it possible to go beyond any need for others to treat us in a certain way? This involved “shoulds” and introduced the issue of dropping our expectations of how others should behave towards us. Or are our reactions to others automatic defences? And what are we defending? Is it “the me” that is responsible? What is “the me” or the “self”? Can there be a death of “the me”? Can something other than”the me” come into the situation, and how might this come about? Can this happen when there is real listening and observing? This was what K kept saying. One participant asked why this cannot happen. Can we not see the patterns of the self operating in our day-to-day lives? Are we genuinely interested? Somehow we keep getting pulled away from the place of attention. We may think we are listening, but we may not be and may, rather, be thinking. Can we be together in a state of attention? “Something to find out” was a closing comment from one friend. 

 

DB 

Self-inquiry with Hillary Rodrigues, September 15, 2024

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Self-inquiry with Hillary Rodrigues 

Sunday, September 15, 2024 

At KECC Metchosin, BC 

 

Ten people in total were present for this Sunday afternoon meeting sponsored by the Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada and held at the Swanwick Road location in Metchosin, BC. It was a warm, sunny day, good for sitting outdoors on the front lawn with the gorgeous ocean and mountain views. Our facilitator, Hillary Rodrigues, opened the meeting with a period of silence followed by a verbal description of the main features of “dialogue” meetings. Dialogue, Hillary offered, involves a sensitive observing of what is arising in others as the group interacts with each other and also a sensitive observing of what is arising within ourselves. What is observed can be shared with the group and explored in greater detail. 

One participant mentioned his noticing of a tendency in himself to look for some sense of stability or security as communication moved on. Another questioned whether there is, in fact, any stability or security to be found. Can we remain in a place of stability? This led into an examination of thinking and the creation of a “self” and, in turn, to an inquiry into the possibility of knowing emptiness. We circled around a few questions and came to what seemed like a central issue: the death of the self. Can an “I” or a self-image be aware of its own death? There were a number of issues that group members brought forward, including what was often said by Krishnamurti, that when the self is present love is not – and vice versa. It seems that a kind of psychological death is necessary in order to realise the deeper states of consciousness. 

One group member said that he would like to understand more deeply the meaning of another of K’s sayings: “the observer is the observed”. Participants offered various points of view regarding the issue and it seemed that there was some deepening of understanding concerning it. The discussion went on for some time before time ran out and we dispersed for some snacks and further friendly talk. Most of us seemed to be anticipating our next meeting with some enthusiasm. 

 

DB  

Self-inquiry with Hillary Rodrigues, September 12, 2024

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Self-inquiry with Hillary Rodrigues 

Thursday, September 12, 2024 

At Goward House 2495 Arbutus Road 

Victoria, BC 

 

Seven participants were in attendance for this dialogue meeting at Goward House in Victoria sponsored by the Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada. Unable to use our usual locations for this meeting, we were able to gather at a lovely house in the forest near the University of Victoria where we felt very comfortable and at ease with the classic furniture and large windows. 

Our facilitator, Hillary, suggested we begin with a period of silence. As we sat quietly, Hillary made some valuable comments about the preciousness of silence. Silence, he said, allows more of a focus than usual on what is going on inside us. Thinking can be “relentless” but also interesting in that it can include one’s own responses to what is going on in others and one can see how the “self” arises in relation to others. 

As we rested in quietness there was a sense of sharing the energy of group presence and unity, which was experienced by some as “love.” In addition there was the experiencing of the arising of the “ego” self, which Krishnamurti and others often recommended we observe carefully. Group members pointed out that, in such a relationship, the various appearances of the “I”, “me” and “mine” can readily be observed. 

We commented on the central place of desire (or latching on to a self) in the occurrence of suffering. 

Although a functional self is necessary, one man pointed out, perhaps a greater need is that of insight. Effective insight is important in any attempt to go beyond the self. We sensed a harmony in the group and a “thinking together” often mentioned by K and which might be felt as more profound than any thinking. 

It was a delightful meeting with a quality of communion. 

 

DB 

Self-inquiry with Hillary Rodrigues, September 8, 2024

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Self-inquiry,  

September 8, 2024 

With Hillary Rodrigues 

At KECC Metchosin 

 

Eleven people in total were in attendance for this afternoon meeting at 538 Swanwick Road in Metchosin, BC. It was a beautiful sunny day and we were able to sit out on the front lawn with the lovely views and the sounds of nature. Hillary Rodrigues, our facilitator and support person, began the session with a short period of silence. He commented that it can be challenging to be silent and that the opportunity was present to observe ourselves while intending to be deeply quiet. After the five minutes or so of silence Hillary opened the meeting to any questions that had come up in the reading of The Book of Life: Meditations with Krishnamurti or any other readings or questions. He mentioned that dialogue is a learning together about any issue that has arisen or any reaction that has taken place in our consciousness. This inspired one participant to relate an event that happens to her occasionally where she is suddenly lit up by some idea that seems to come out of nowhere. She was curious to explore what happens, especially as the happening sometimes develops into a “passion” or something of beauty or love. 

Another participant asked how we become passionate about anything? What happens if a loaded gun is pointed at our head? What do we feel? “What is” may not be pleasant. Krishnamurti suggests that we remain present with whatever is. Does that feel dangerous? Can it be peaceful? Does the experience come to an end? Could we all just be with what is? Would that awaken an intelligence which could resolve the world’s problems? Is there compassion in K’s response? 

One participant suggested that “seeing” or “insight” is what is needed most deeply in order for any transformation to take place. Does that happen in our inquiry? The question was left as an open one that could be held in “choiceless awareness” 

 

DB 

Self-inquiry with Hillary Rodrigues, September 5, 2024

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Self-inquiry with Hillary Rodrigues 

September 5, 2024 

At Esquimalt Park Pavilion 

Victoria, BC 

 

Hillary Rodrigues, previously a professor of Religious Studies at the University of Lethbridge, will be facilitating our dialogue sessions in Victoria and at the Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada in Metchosin for some time to come. The Victoria meetings will be held on Thursday afternoons and this was the first.  

Eight people were very pleased to welcome Hillary to the Esquimalt Park Pavilion at 1070 Tillicum Road. Hillary gave a short introductory talk about the nature of dialogue and then led a period of silent meditation where group members could orient themselves to being aware of their own thoughts and feelings as they sat together in a circle. The meeting was then opened up to whatever questions participants might have and would like to explore within the context of the group structure. One group member said she was interested in sensitivity and Hillary then found a relevant reading from The Book of Life: Meditations with Krishnamurti, September 5 selection. The passage from Krishnamurti’s writings spoke of the limitation of the intellect and the potential richness of our perceptions of the world around us when we do not argue and fight about our place in it and thereby miss being aware of our surroundings. 

Krishnamurti wrote that sensitivity has no conditioning to it. It takes us out of the field of fears and anxieties. 

One participant shared her idea of sensitivity by saying that it was a quality of Presence and of Being. She tries to be as present as possible at all times. Another group member explained that, for him, sensitivity can be quite uncomfortable and can open him to fear and a sense of disturbance. Being aware can include awareness of the inner life. It may not be thought that is aware but, rather, the awareness of thinking and sensation is present. Eckhart Tolle suggests we be in a state of wondering what our next thought will be. This can bring about an alertness. Where is awareness located? Is it an attribute of consciousness? 

Another interesting question is to ask ourselves “Why am I here?” Hillary suggested that holding the question can provide an answer or answers that are rich and full and can bring a kind of closure to our questioning. No answer may be ultimately possible. We looked into some basic existential questions which were subtle and with a kind of Zen Buddhist nature such as “neither this nor that”. 

The importance of “openness” was emphasised by one participant and confirmed by Hillary and expanded upon. Intellect narrows awareness, it was agreed, while choiceless awareness broadens perception. Hillary asked if intelligence can arise out of such awareness. The topic was explored further and various observations were shared. The meeting time came to an end with a sense of having enjoyed the group meditation or dialogue process. 

 

DB 

Self-inquiry, September 1, 2024

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Self-inquiry

Sunday, September 1, 2024

With David Bruneau

At KECC Metchosin

 

Five participants in total were present for this Sunday afternoon meeting at the Swanwick Road location of the Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada in Metchosin, BC. David was invited to facilitate the meeting in the absence of Hilary Rodrigues, who will be facilitating for most of the month of September. It was a lovely, sunny day which enabled us to sit on the lawn in front of the Main House. The sun was quite hot, which encouraged us to move to a more shady location on the grass and made things more comfortable for the second half of the gathering.

David started the meeting with a guided meditation inviting participants to be fully present and attentive to their thoughts and feelings. He then read the September 1 passage from The Book of Life: Daily Meditations with Krishnamurti, the book we have been using as a reference to the teachings of Krishnamurti. Later in the session David asked if someone would like to read the September 2 entry. The main topics covered by K in those two selections were the difference between insight or “seeing” and knowledge and opinion, the false and the true, and the need for a silent mind in order to perceive the real. The meditation and the readings stimulated group discussion and questioning about how we can know what is true and what is not. How can we see, what does it mean, what is full attention, and the silence that K speaks of were all topics of exploration.

One participant spoke of her experience with Buddhist approaches to self-inquiry and the similarity of Krishnamurti’s approach in some important ways. She felt there was very little contradiction between the Buddhist understanding she had studied and practised and what she had so far heard of K’s approach to self-inquiry and “meditation.” 

Group members agreed that many characteristics seemed to be in accord. 

Towards the end of the meeting one group member shared some personal issues he had about shame and his challenges with it over the years. This introduced a discussion of “being with” feelings that seemed significant. When the meeting time was over, we moved to the Gatehouse where fruit and snacks were served and further friendly conversation took place. Participants gradually drifted away. It was considered that the small size of the group added to the intimacy and depth of sharing that took place and was thereby a beneficial aspect of the meeting.

 

DB

Self-inquiry, August 25, 2024

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Self-inquiry 

August  25, 2024 

With David Bruneau 

At the Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada 

Metchosin, BC 

 

Six of us were present for this dialogue for which, thanks to sunny weather with almost no wind, we were able to meet on the front lawn with the gorgeous views of the ocean and the mountains. As we sat for the beginning of the session a white cloud formed over the ocean and the trees near William Head prison, lending an atmosphere of mystery to the scene. David had been asked to facilitate the meeting and he began with a guided meditation focusing on the idea of “total attention without effort” which Krishnamurti had often mentioned in his talks. In this case total attention included awareness of the sounds of nature such as the songs of birds and the occasional voices of humans in the distance. Then there were the sensations in our bodies, including any tensions, to be noticed. Being attentive  to any such feelings and the accompanying thoughts that arose provided a field of awareness within which insights might arise into the workings of the body-mind and the creation of the individual and group realities that were being experienced, including any conflicts that were being noticed in the consciousness of the participants as we sat in silent observation of the movements of the world around us and the worlds within. It was later shared by some of the group that they had noticed a certain richness of experience as attention was given to being present and aware. We also entered into an inquiry concerning the presence of the conflicts noticed and their nature, which added an extra layer of interest to the dialogue. The various participants all made valuable contributions to the conversation and we were all sad to say goodbye to a couple of them who would be returning to their somewhat distant homes before our next meeting at the Krishnamurti Centre. 

 

DB 

Self-inquiry with Christina Merkley, August 18, 2024

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Self-inquiry with Christina Merkley 

Sunday, August 18, 2024 

At KECC Metchosin, BC 

 

Christina Merkley volunteered to facilitate a meeting for the Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada. She has had experience with a certain kind of inquiry which Ralph considered might be interesting for us. It is a kind of spontaneous process which unfolds as it develops along the lines of what group members share as they notice whatever they perceive about the way the group energy or the energy of individuals in the group is expressing itself. Christna drew pictures on large sheets of white paper representing the group process which could then be used to further explore what was happening for group members. 

Nine people in total were present for the afternoon meeting on the front lawn in front of the Main House. The weather was very appropriate for sitting outdoors as there was almost no wind at all and sunshine was appearing more and more as the afternoon progressed. Christina began the session with a silent meditation of about ten minutes. She then asked for people’s feedback about what was happening for them. One group member expressed an interest in exploring the possibilities of what Krishnamurti had called “thinking together”. 

One participant shared that she was feeling “resistance”. Christina asked if that resistance could be welcomed here and what happened when it was welcomed. People then reported their experiences of thoughts arising, dogs barking, and the earlier presence of a bear on the property. A sense of “togetherness” was reported wherein it seemed that a sense of group wholeness was present. This changed into a sense that togetherness was lacking and what was being felt was a sense of separateness and attachment to the feeling of individuality. This again shifted to a feeling of just being in the present moment with a sense of ease. One person then expressed that for him all experiences were “coming back to “nothingness” or “emptiness”. We then went back over what had happened and considered engaging once again with another inquiry. There was a feeling that time was running out and it might be better to engage freshly on another occasion. Participants expressed that the whole inquiry had been very interesting (or not).

DB

 

Self-inquiry, August 11, 2024

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Self-inquiry with David Bruneau 

August 11, 2024 

At KECC, Metchosin, BC 

 

Five people in total attended this afternoon meeting at the Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada (in Metchosin). The weather allowed us to sit outside on the lawn in front of the Main House but the temperature dropped as the afternoon progressed and some felt the coldness as the time passed. The group discussion or dialogue focused largely on our perception of thoughts and ideas and the central place in Krishnamurti’s teachings of the process and value of “seeing” and “insight”. Questions were raised about how K’s teachings could be characterised. Was K a psychologist or a philosopher? Did he use thought to understand thought, or can only awareness understand thought? We entered some fairly complex explorations of thought and “proprioception” which took us into the realm of David Bohm”s work with Thought as a System as well as his other explorations and how they related to K’s presentation of the nature of thought. We also looked into the effectiveness and ineffectiveness of meditation as taught by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and criticised by Krishnamurti, who said at times that mantra meditation created a dull mind and was ultimately quite limited. Various forms of Buddhist meditation were explored and evaluated in terms of their value as instruments of insight or their degree of power for self-transformation. The discussion eventually came to an end as we retired to the Gatehouse for some warmth and snacks. 

 

DB 

Self-inquiry, August 11, 2024

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Self-inquiry with David Bruneau 

August 11, 2024 

At KECC, Metchosin, BC 

 

Five people in total attended this afternoon meeting at the Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada (in Metchosin). The weather allowed us to sit outside on the lawn in front of the Main House but the temperature dropped as the afternoon progressed and some felt the coldness as the time passed. The group discussion or dialogue focused largely on our perception of thoughts and ideas and the central place in Krishnamurti’s teachings of the process and value of “seeing” and “insight”. Questions were raised about how K’s teachings could be characterised. Was K a psychologist or a philosopher? Did he use thought to understand thought, or can only awareness understand thought? We entered some fairly complex explorations of thought and “proprioception” which took us into the realm of David Bohm”s work with Thought as a System as well as his other explorations and how they related to K’s presentation of the nature of thought. We also looked into the effectiveness and ineffectiveness of meditation as taught by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and criticised by Krishnamurti, who said at times that mantra meditation created a dull mind and was ultimately quite limited. Various forms of Buddhist meditation were explored and evaluated in terms of their value as instruments of insight or their degree of power for self-transformation. The discussion eventually came to an end as we retired to the Gatehouse for some warmth and snacks. 

 DB