A Closer Look at the Observer

/in /by

From the standpoint of Absolute Being, let’s take closer look at the “observer” and so-called relative world and what science sometimes calls the unified field of energy, because it appears it is a hot topic today. Unified field. Hmmm…if ever there was a complex, nuclear-physics-sounding, excuse-me-while-I-mentally-numb-out-for-the-next-few-paragraphs term, that’s it. If one speaks of this unified field in terms of physics, it is complex. If one were to speak of the human scene or what some call the relative or finite world, science has long said the underlying or driving force of the entire so-called “universe” appears to be energy. But this energy also appears to be in a constant state of random reaction. It implies that all events in the universe occur randomly, or by sheer chance. Scientists have puzzled that, if there is an Omniscience, An All-Knowing One – how could it have a hand in something based on randomness or chance – instead of certainty, intelligence, permanence? Even Einstein wasn’t able to explain it, but said he couldn’t accept the notion of a God that “plays dice” with the universe. A key issue is that this constantly reacting field of energy appears to be the very “source” or cause underlying the entire stellar universe, all matter, and all human experience. Constantly changing energy is what appears to “drive” the whole universe; it appears to cause all movement, change and time. This energy also seems to have qualities of being self-replenishing or “eternal”, which is why it’s so tantalizing to human thinking. To say something is the cause or “creator” of a universe, and also eternal, may sound like a description of “God” to a human way of thinking. Is it? From a human “observer” viewpoint, energy is said to be the key to science’s long-sought “Theory Of Everything.” Energy may be the key to everything finite – but it’s not the key to Reality or Being. This energy can seem puzzling, too. On one hand, it is constantly reacting and changing. Yet when seen in its entirety as one whole, the vast energy field underlying the universe appears to be unchanging. It seems unaffected by time, or “eternal.” How could it be both at once – always changing, yet never changing? Is it an unsolvable paradox? To try to explain it the human sensing “mind” has two ways of looking at its energy field. The first sees energy in terms of its parts; those parts would be the tiny atomic particles, waves or strings, and other finite forms of energy known to physicists – always vibrating, reacting and changing in time. Seen this way, since these forms vibrate and move in never-present time, they’re never truly being. They never stop changing to be what really is, so they couldn’t be called Reality. These forms also can be measured or calculated to some extent by scientists, which means they’re finite, and not the Infinite. In contrast, when this energy field is taken as one whole, everything appears different. Seen in its entirety and not as separate parts, the energy field appears constant, in a state of balance. It’s the way every action has an equal and opposite reaction, keeping it in equilibrium overall. Seen as a whole, the energy field never changes, never gains or looses anything. That is why it appears “eternal.” As a whole, it is also too vast to measure – thus has been called infinite. So which is this energy field – a lot of parts or one whole? Is energy finite or infinite; mortal or divine? Or why can’t it be both at once? Some might say this is the same paradox spoken of in Eastern religions – that the universe is both – simultaneous a state of change and non-change. Wait a minute. Are there really two states in the first place – both Infinite Being and also a relative finite realm of non-being? Do the two states co-exist? WHO SAYS SO? Only a finite human “sense-mind” would be trying to say there are two states – both Infinite Being and also a relative finite realm of time, non-being. Infinite Being Itself isn’t saying any such thing. From the standpoint of Infinite Being, there is only Itself – the Infinite, endless, borderless One. And Infinite Being is all that is being to be anything. The only thing assuming there are two states – that in addition to One changeless Being, there also is a changing finite realm of energy, time and non-being – would be the so-called finite mind! But that’s the “mind” that never is being! As that “mind” doesn’t truly exist, one can’t go by what it would try to say. Infinite Being is all that truly is, which leaves One Realm – Its own. To “look out as” Infinite Being (and there’s no choice, since nothing else is being) is to see that Being never comes to an end of Its Absolute Being. Again, at no point in Being could a state of anything not Itself – non-Being, or time – ever have begun, because if it’s not-Being, it’s not being! There is only the specific, utter Presence of Being. This is clear only by identifying as the Infinite Being You are – which is something that would-be human thinking never does. The only answer to the seeming “paradox” is to start from, or as, Being. AGAIN…WHO SAYS SO? As the finite sensing “mind” completely is not being, it simply couldn’t be a valid basis for knowing anything real or true. All it would purportedly know, including its universe of energy and time, its paradoxes, and most of all, itself and all of its “observations”, equally is not being. In fact, it would be the same one “sense-mind” that seems to play both roles – the “mind” comprises both the universe of energy that is observed, and acts as the thinker that is “observing” and trying to account for that universe – for the universe has no existence apart from the “mind.” But none of it ever is. It’s the cat of non-being chasing its own tail!

Another Look at the Observer

/in /by

Another notion in philosophy and science concerns the nature of the “observer.”     Who “observes” or knows Existence exists?     The only one to know or define Existence must be Itself. Anything that is not Existence Itself doesn’t exist to know anything! The starting point can be only Existence, Being Itself. And It doesn’t really start with Itself, for there never has been a stop. As Existence Itself is all that exists as Pure Consciousness, It really never is being observed by a separate mind or consciousness, for there isn’t one.     Not even Existence, Consciousness, observes Itself as is sometimes believed, for all observation would occur only in the realm of the “sense-mind” and time, which is non-being. To give consideration to non-being or what it claims to observe, would be foolhardy labor in the labyrinth of the intellect – which itself never stops moving in time – and would be only more of the same non-existence. Being never is known by non-being.     The term “self-referral” is sometimes used, but not even that is accurate. Re-ferral means to know again, also implying time, non-being. Thanks to Existence being Conscious, Alive Intelligence, It “knows” It is by cognizantly or knowingly being. Its Absoluteness leaves no room for question or doubt, no impulse for investigation.     There can be no approach to Existence, no differing theories. There is no wrong approach, nor a correct one, for there is no approach to All, and none to approach It.     So-called finite human thinking , whose very basis would be time, cause and effect, can’t accept that Being just is, alone, without a reason or cause, without an observer. Yet the would be finite observer functioning in time is the one that never is, hence is entirely false.     There is no point at which Divine Love, the Existence I Am, comes to an end – and nowhere does non-existence begin to be. That’s worth repeating – for it means literally is no end to the Love I Am. My Infinitely Present Being, thus all of Existence, consists only of the endless reach of unconditionally present, unrestrainable, un-shut-off-able Love. Love Is What Existence Is These two words aren’t seen in the same sentence too often. What exactly is this sentence saying? Love is what Existence is. It isn’t saying Love is in Existence. It isn’t saying Love fills all of Existence. It’s saying Love Itself is what Existence is. It’s not talking about what seems to be seen, by way of the eye, what seems to be felt by way of the touch or by way of an emotion; or anything seemingly experienced by the five senses or thought. It’s saying Love. And Love is another way of saying this Purity…this Unconditional-ness with which Self’s Pure Presence is freely, unstoppably, unwitholdably, present as Harmony, Oneness, Peace, Bliss, Warmth, All that is. What Love is to Itself. Not to another, but what Love is as Its own Presence only. This is what Existence is. Now, on what basis is this being said? How can this be? First of all, does Existence really exist? Let’s get real basic with this. Do you honestly truly exist? And if you do, as what do you truly exist? How do you exist? And How do you know for certain? In fact is there actually another to accept or reject that Existence is now existent? Is it something that is up to a personal thinking mind or a personality? The simple fact that you know the question is being asked means you exist. Existence or Consciousness has to be or there would be no consciousness of anything, not even the question. It certainly is clear now that there is such a thing as being. One must admit that one is now aware…that Awareness is aware. And that one, by the way is not a person or personality. It is Awareness Itself being this presently existing awareness. Put it this way. One could not be presently aware as that which does not exist. So, there it is. And a thought might come, with some of these sayings… “Am I a man dreaming or am I a dream dreaming I am a man?” Actually, neither one of those two. Neither man nor a dream is this presently aware Aliveness, here now. Pure Being Itself. A man or a dream would be just two finite things one appears to sense or seemingly is aware of. Experienced by way of the mind and time. And it’s entirely thanks to the fact that Consciousness is or exists that even one could even mention man or dream One must also admit the fact that only Consciousness is. Nothing else can genuinely be, because nothing else is present. Nothing or no thing in time, nothing in any dream appearance, or nothing seeming relative or finite, or that which is-not. What the deeper meaning is, is that Existence is, Love Is, Consciousness is, All is. Existence is NOT inclusive of time or dream characters…they have no existence!  Existence or Love is preclusive of any relative, time-bound is-not-ness.                    Excerpt from Chapter 19 ‘Love is what Existence Is’ in Consciousness Is All by Peter Francis Dziuban        

The Word is not the Thing

/in /by

The description of a flower is not the flower. The photograph of a flower is not the flower. The word or picture is not the ‘thing’. When Krishnamurti uses words to describe or communicate something, these words are not the ‘thing’. When people listen to him or read his books, what they understand is not the ‘thing’ he tries to communicate. Verbal communication is partial and some kind of distortion occurs between what is communicated by him and what is understood by his read…ers. Is there another way of communicating- non verbal way- in which there is no distortion? -when understanding or realization is immediate, not through thinking? Such a communion happened when Gautam Buddha was talking with his 5 friends in Sarnath after his Enlightenment. When Buddha was speaking, he looked at the face of Kondanna and said-“Kondanna! You have got It!”

Do a Freedom Inquiry

/in /by

To say, “Do a freedom inquiry” sounds like an oxymoron.

 Real freedom is just that—free—and doesn’t require or involve inquiry in order to be free. In one sense, inquiry itself even could be said to be a kind of bondage to thought, and a form of separation.

 To inquire is to question. And to question is to quest—to seek an answer. Yet the very premise of nonduality is that there is no separate self to seek, to quest, or be a questioner.

 So how is “freedom inquiry” meant here?

It is meant as a variation from most traditional forms of inquiry, and that variation is the subject of this post.
 First, consider traditional inquiry. Despite what is said above, traditional inquiry is an extremely valuable tool in nonduality—perhaps the most valuable. It could be argued that the very act of thinking and inquiring seems to create a secondary or separate self. Yet the purpose of inquiry is to see through that very notion—that there could be separation of any kind, including a separate inquirer.

 Thus inquiry, in its highest form, is designed to make itself obsolete.

 Perhaps the “most freeing” inquiry is one that sees through the illusion of time and a past—resulting in the clarity that the very inquiry itself actually never happened! 

In nonduality, the traditional use of inquiry is to closely examine the nature of experience.

 There are many varieties, and they have been well documented. A few the most well-known are “self-inquiry” as attributed to Ramana Maharshi, which investigates the personal “I-thought.” There also is Krishna Menon’s Atma Darshan which is an inquiry into direct experience. Nisargadatta’s work was in many ways a form of inquiry. There are the Buddhist emptiness teachings, in particular the inquiries of Nagarjuna. And there are more.
 This post is not an attempt to elaborate on those—because that has been done already, and by experts.

 Notice again however, that in most cases the examination, the inquiry, is directed toward experience.

 Usually the inquiry is directed toward what appears to be a form—whether that form be a so-called material object, or a mental object, such as a thought.

 The purpose of traditional inquiry is to see through the illusion that there are separate material objects, and it deconstructs “objects” to show they are nothing other than mere thought and sensation, or mentation. Inquiry then goes further to see that not even what seem to be thoughts or sensations exist as separate entities.

 What is called “self inquiry” on the other hand is devoted more to examining, and ultimately seeing through, the false notion of there being a separate self, ego, or personal “I.” It results in seeing that there really is no such entity—other than temporary arising thoughts.
 n the book, Consciousness Is All, there is an example of inquiry into a so-called material object (an “apple”) in Chap. 13 which shows there is no “apple” as a stand-alone object separate from thought—and then it goes on to discuss what that means. Chap. 14 walks through an inquiry into why “body” and “brain” are not solid, separate objects either. There also is an inquiry into the nature of “I” in Chap. 4, showing that if such a term as “I” is used, it really is pointing back to Infinity—and that the personal-body-sense of “I” is an apparent finitizing of Infinity. Chapters 13 and 4 are free here on Writings page of http://www.consciousnessisall.com/. If you’ve not had much experience with traditional inquiry, it is suggested that you look into the examples mentioned above, so that inquiry leads to “conscious experience” and unshakeable clarity, rather than staying only on the level of this intellectual description. Must any of these types of inquiry be practiced by Life Itself? Does Life need to inquire or see through anything before It will be freely alive? Of course not. However, as long as one still seems to have a body/mind that deals with what appears to be a world—any inquiry that dissolves the seeming sense of separation is useful and valuable. It may take practice—digging and working through questions—but that very practice is what keeps a false sense of separation from taking over (and it’s only a sense). Often there is merely an “intellectual agreement” that there are no objects, nothing separate, because it sounds spiritually correct. But when push comes to shove in daily experience, the sense of separation can rear up and run the show, because it hasn’t been adequately seen through. The point, and ideally, the result of this traditional form of inquiry is what might be called freedom. It is a freedom from illusion, misconceptions and false beliefs, and basically what would amount to any kind of so-called physical, mental or emotional bondage. Another term for this freedom might be called openness—which gets to the point of this post.   If inquiry is something with which you have some familiarity, have you ever “turned it around”? Instead of inquiring into the apparent, or what is called “experience”—have you ever started with freedom and inquired, “What’s true here?”
 What is it to start from, or start as, freedom, and inquire, “What is this?”
It is similar to saying, “What is a pure Presence inquiry, as compared to an experience inquiry? What is a formlessness inquiry, instead of an inquiry into apparent form? Is there anything that even can be said, or inquired into? Why not find out?

 So, again, just what is pure freedom? Not—“What is freedom to ‘me’ or to my thoughts about freedom.”

Rather, what is freedom to freedom?

 What is the nature of freedom itself?

Perhaps in response a thought arises, “Freedom has no nature.”

There you go. You are off and running on your inquiry.

 Sometimes this is met with one of those snappy intellectual retorts such as, “Freedom or openness can’t be reduced to inquiry or confined to something knowable. That’s why it’s called freedom or openness. So why try to inquire? If freedom were knowable, that would be getting conceptual—which is not freedom.” That is precisely the point here.

 A freedom inquiry isn’t supposed to lead to more concepts. It is exactly the opposite.

 In doing a freedom inquiry, the key is to not answer with thought.

 The “taste” itself is the only “answer.”
 A freedom inquiry is not even intended to lead to a “deeper realization” or “deeper seeing”—although these are inevitable by-products.

 A freedom inquiry keeps one consciously busy or alive as freedom. Freedom is NOT a mere mental abstraction. Freedom is consciously alive stuff! 

As much as we like to say we’re living a nondual life with minimal sense of separation, a lot of that sense often still clings in ways we don’t even realize. A freedom inquiry seems to dissolve a sense of separation in a way different from experience inquiry—because one cannot be consciously functioning as freedom and simultaneously be experiencing separation.

 For example, if the net result of traditional inquiry is freedom from a false sense of separation—specifically what is this?

 Exactly what is “no separation”?

 Not—what is “no separation” when thought about.

Rather, what is “no separation” lived.

Where there is no false sense of separation, what “remains”? Anything?

 Seeing through an illusion of separation doesn’t result in non-existence.

 Certainly, Life is still alive.

 So, what is this, as itself, right here?

 Has the visual sense ever seen Life Itself? Has anyone ever touched or smelled or even thought Life? No. Yet here Life is.
 What is this?

“ Life is alive. It is aliveness,” the response may come. But do not settle for merely that thought. “Taste” it as consciously alive stuff.

 As aliveness is being “tasted” or “alive’d” notice how aliveness and its alive-ing cannot be separated.

 Stop and notice, taste, feel, be alive as, how this “no separation” of aliveness has also no evidence of borders, no boundaries.

 To have borders or boundaries would be separation, or division.

 So “no separation” is the same as un-divide-able.

 Un-divide-able in this sense does not mean having something that is so big or powerful that it cannot be divided.

 Un-divide-able means having no thing there to be divided in the first place!

 It equally means there is no one to try to do any dividing.

 There is just endless “un-divide-able-ness” as consciously alive stuff.
 Once this is clear, rather than repeatedly starting from the apparent and working or seeing that there’s really no separation, no dividing—what is it to start directly as “alive un-divide-able-ness” and taste or be this?

 This un-divide-able-ness again, is a kind of alive openness, an alive seamlessness, or freedom.

 Can a point be found where the taste of alive un-divide-able-ness ends, and a separate taster begins?

 If so, where is the border? What is it made of? Can a border even be found?

 Right now, is it possible to divide or separate this alive openness in half, so there are two alive opennesses, two presences?

 If so, how far is one from the other? Where is each one located—in order to know one is separate from the other? In fact, is there any physical distance here?

 How would one half be distinguished from the other half? What would be its qualities? Can there even be said to be any qualities?

 Notice again and see if it is possible to find a point where alive openness ends, and where a separate noticer or taster of alive openness begins? If there is a separation, how far are they from each other?

 A lot is said in nonduality about the arising of forms of experience—the arising of transient thoughts, the arising of transient sensations, arising emotions, etc.

 Notice closely. Can aliveness, openness, also be said to be an arising?
 It may seem as if aliveness “arises” at the instant it is “noticed.” But does this mean that aliveness has suddenly come into existence from non-existence? Can anything come from non-existence? Can there even be such a thing or state as non-existence? If there were, it wouldn’t be non-existent! 

Or is it that alive openness was apparently being temporarily “ignored” due to entertaining some sense of separation? 
 Notice in your experience how this focusing on something that is assumed to be separate instantly is experienced as a constriction, not openness.

 Now notice even further. The notion that there was a previous tasting of openness, which then became a constriction—where is all of the evidence for such a thing? Look very closely. 

Is there any evidence that such a thing really did happen “back there in time” a few moments ago? Or would the only evidence for all of that be merely a current thought that seems to arise right now for the first time ever? No such thing really occurred “back there” in time. At most it would be just a current thought.

 Now what about openness itself? Has openness itself been present before, present the entire “past time” this tasting and constriction supposedly occurred? No! 

Not even openness has so much as a split second of prior history—for that notion, too, would be just that—a mere notion, only a current thought, also arising just now for the first time ever!

 Openness is completely, totally history-free.

 Now that’s free!

Now how about finding a point or place where alive openness itself can be said to begin?

 How could it, when openness simply cannot be said to have any prior history of existing? 

What else? When “starting as” presently alive openness, can openness be said to have an edge? A center? How far would the edge be from the center?
 Or is there just alive, un-divide-able, un-locate-able-ness?

 Is alive un-locate-able-ness trying to get anywhere, or get free? 

Is it trying to get more of its alive openness? How could it, when it is not a quantity in the first place? In fact, it is not even an “it”!

 Does alive un-locate-able-ness have a material border, or even a mental border, where it extends only so far and then ends—thus feeling a need to expand itself? 

Just how open is openness?

 Again, this is not a thought of openness, but openness.

 It’s never a matter of, how open is openness to “my thinking” about openness.

 What is it to taste/be openness that is so open it almost “aches”?

 In the same way, does alive openness have a bottom? Right now, try to find one.

 Does alive openness have anything separate that is underneath openness—such as a floor? What about a planet? Or even an entire so-called universe?

 How deep is openness? How wide? Does the notion of depth or width even apply?

 Go as deep as you care to. No matter how “deep” one tries to go—one is still always “right here” as location-less openness, un-pin-down-able freedom.

 Can alive openness be said to have a separate source or cause?
 Will you ever find one? If so, where would it be in relation to alive openness—which itself is un-locateable? 

The instant all this inquiring stops—is there any evidence of an inquirer that exists independently and is separate from alive openness? Or even during the inquiry—do the questions/thoughts have their own stand-alone existence “out there” separate from openness?

 To alive openness, is there a limited supply of freedom?

 Does it have a point where it diminishes, begins to sort of close down or shut off?

 Or is this gently present, alive openness un-shut-off-able?

 Can it be said that alive openness an extreme state—something that should be avoided for fear of getting out of balance? To whom would it seem that way?

 Can alive openness ever have such a thought, or act extremely?
 Does openness even act?

 Can openness even be pinned down, as if it were a place, a realm—even a “higher state of consciousness”?

 Is openness ever saying that there is no self—or that there is a Self?

 For that matter, is openness ever saying anything—even that there is openness?!

 Be clear that the entire so-called “time” during this type of inquiry, it does nothing to make Life, openness, freedom, more open and free, more alive and un-divide-able.
 Posted on March 5, 2012 by Peter Dziuban To see the entire 4 pages go to http://peterdziuban.com/do-a-freedom-inquiry/

An Inquiry Weekend

/in /by

Krishnamurti Study Session January 4, 2014 Seven people attended the study group on Saturday. We were reading and exploring the last half of chapter 5 in Freedom From the Known. The main issue K wrote about in this chapter was fear and he goes into it in quite some depth. It seemed all participants felt it was valuable to spend some time going slowly into the questions raised and the teaching of K on this topic. One of the main questions the group considered was “What prevents us from living in the present moment?” This is a crucial question in the examination of fear and the inquiring into the possibility of freedom from fear. The discussion was very interesting and involving. One of the important aspects of the issue discussed was the importance of honestly being with what is actually going on as we experience fear. Inquiry Sunday January 5, 2014 The morning session was attended by 6 people. A meeting of Eckhart Tolle and Deepak Chopra was shown on DVD in which each gave a half hour talk and then Eckhart answered some questions from the audience and Deepak added a few comments of his own. The material was excellent and interesting, covering such topics as Presence, who or what we really are, and what kind of spiritual practice is recommended. After the DVD there was some time for discussion of the subjects introduced and participants seemed to feel the session was very worthwhile. In the afternoon a Krishnamurti video was shown from the Evelyn Blau series, this one on “Change”. The half hour video was followed by a dialogue which proved to be challenging and lively. Questions arose as to the nature of change, the difference between change and transformation or “mutation”, how transformation takes place, and what brings about change or prevents it. Change was seen to imply a modified continuity whereas transformation requires an ending of psychological thought. Thought cannot change itself and what is needed is perhaps the seeing of the limitations of thought rather than the pursuing of solutions through the thought process. As in the Saturday session, it was seen that honesty and a willingness to really be with what is without escape or avoidance is crucial.

Life Beyond Your Wildest Dreams

/in /by

Yesterday I was enjoying a cup of coffee with a friend and was asked if I had any ideas as to new programs that might be offered at the centre specifically around the subject of “Transformation of Human Consciousness”… My response was something like, perhaps I wasn’t the right one to ask as I don’t have any belief that there is anybody who needs to be transformed and from here there isn’t any such thing as ‘human’ consciousness, or even, as science tells us, a stand alone human being as a real solid object for that matter. As I drove home thoughts came about assumptions and old beliefs. So when I got home I opened “Simply Notice” to where the bookmark was and this is what appeared…   Chapter 11 “Life Beyond Your Wildest Dreams” “The focus of noticing will shift for the next several chapters. It will shift away from Life’s ease of present awareness, to noticing more about the five senses. The reason is that the senses seem to create illusory appearances. The senses seem to fool us by making the world and daily living appear other than they really are. Some illusions are minor – such as an illusion of a mirage in the desert – and they have little impact on daily life and society. Other times, an illusion can have a huge impact. As said in the beginning of this book, one such illusion appears to be affecting your every waking moment of every day. Yet this illusion for the most part has gone totally unnoticed by the general public. Even more important – the illusions give rise to false beliefs, and the false beliefs severely restrict how we live. Before getting into specifics, it helps to put all this illusion talk in perspective. The biggest breakthroughs in the so-called history of man often involve a dramatic change in ways of seeing, or understanding. What basically happens is that the old, limiting beliefs are seen through or new discoveries are made. What these dramatic breakthroughs often boil down to is a simple matter of noticing something that wasn’t noticed before. The classic example of breaking through illusions and limiting beliefs would be the now-clichéd flat earth. The following may seem as if it is badly overstating the obvious. It’s done only to refresh your thinking about the power and influences of un-detected illusions. It’s also a warm-up for exposing the other illusion that is largely unnoticed today. Supposedly, earth at one time was believed by some to flat and so massive that it was the centre of the universe. It could be said this belief was not accepted by civilizations worldwide – but it helps to illustrate an important point. Of course the realization eventually came that earth is a relatively tiny sphere, apparently floating in a vast universe of space. The key question to ask is, “How could such a belief have started?” It was due to two illusions. Both illusions involve the human sense of sight. The first illusion is the earth’s horizon, which appears when seen by a human body standing on earth. Of course, the body’s limited sense of sight is incapable of seeing the earth’s natural curvature. The second illusion involves planetary movement. Each day (or night), the sun, moon and stars come into view. Again, to the human sense of sight when standing on earth, it appears as if these heavenly bodies rise above earth’s horizon. It also appears as if these bodies all rotate in space around earth. So – to the untrained eye, it really does look as if the earth is a massive flat object. And it really does appear as if earth is at the centre, and the universe is geo-centric – with the sun, moon, planets and all stars rotating around it. What counts are the beliefs that arose out of these illusions. The most famous was, “Don’t dare sail beyond the horizon of this flat earth, or you’ll fall off.” Needless to say, people’s acceptance of the beliefs acted like self-imposed barriers which were incredibly limiting. Again, all due to illusion. Here’s the point in dredging up this old example. Today we pride ourselves on being much more savvy, advanced and enlightened that the flat earth folks. We don’t like to think of ourselves as still capable of accepting illusions and ignorant beliefs.  Yet unwittingly we are.  

A Flower Opening?

/in /by

During a dyad exercise a few days ago, while contemplating the question “What am I?”,  a number of very interesting insights arose.  The contemplation began with a seeing that an “I” thought would arise and then immediately another thought would assign a significance to the first thought, would give it meaning.   The creation of the reality of an “I” was happening moment by moment through thought itself giving substance to the idea of a “me”.  Without this meaning given by thought the arising of a concept of “me” would have no significance.   The attention then naturally went to the looking at why thought was continuously doing this, being active in creating the “me” moment to moment.  It was seen that thought was reacting habitually to avoid the void.  Thought was aware (or was reacting to the awareness) that it is transient and dissolving into the unknown each moment.  Thought was moving away from a perceived emptiness or not-knowing each moment.   As this process was observed there came a sense of falling back into the not-knowing aware space and a sense that this space was more truly “what I am” than anything thought could produce.  The mind became very still and silent.   Staying in that still sense of being, there arose spontaneously a clear sense of timelessness and the word “eternity” presented itself as a description.  Not eternity as never-ending time but as totally outside of time, in another dimension entirely.  “I” was eternal, timeless Being.  A sense of being was arising out of the Unknown.  Somehow there then arose the perception that what I really am is not the limited “I” created by thought but that the roots of “my” being are grounded in the Source of everything, unbounded Life itself.  “I am That” became completely true:  I cannot be other than the Totality, the Source of all.  This was much more than an idea:  it was a fact.   Then in the effortless looking or seeing it became clear that even “I am That” was dualistic:  “That”, or Source, was being conceived as an object.  It was being conceived out of the unknowable source and was in a sense grounded in that Source and at the same time the objectification of it was happening in thought and perception.  When this was seen the duality collapsed into a pure not-knowing.  The “I” that had been the object of inquiry had dissolved.  Laughter arose in this seeing that the natural culmination of the search for “who” or ‘what” I really am is the complete forgetting of myself.  So much so that there is no knowing of a self or of there not being a self.  There is nothing left to say about myself in that state of truth where the difference between “I” and Truth has dissolved.   Thought can come up with approximations and descriptions of that which is beyond description and this we have such proclamations as “I am That”, “I am the Truth”, “I am love, freedom, bliss, consciousness”, and so on.  These are beautiful expressions of what ultimately is beyond all expression.   And then comes the question, “Is it beyond, or is even that just another duality of thought?”  The answer comes not in words but as a further falling away of division.  In that or out of that or as that arose the perfume that might be called love.   What value is there in sharing these types of experiences with others?  I don’t know.  Krishnamurti says it’s like a flower opening to reveal its beauty to that which can perceive it and be moved by it.  Life itself expressing itself within and as the play of duality and the melting away of the duality which never really existed.   Interestingly, since that experience and the writing about it there have been some fairly strong movements of such emotions as anger and sadness.   Go figure!  When felt and observed they melted away.    

The Challenge of Nothingness

/in /by

In another dyad recently I entered a contemplation on emptiness and formlessness. An image arose which seemed to describe my situation in life these days. I am sitting on the edge of a cliff looking out at a vast emptiness, nothingness, or void. Everything that used to give meaning to my life has been falling away and this nothingness is what remains. There is a sense that I am still here in some way, separate from this void. Sometimes there is more openness to the emptiness, sometimes less. The thinking mind resists the void and contracts in fear in the face of it, either subtly or obviously, and this is felt in the body-mind as a flatness, dullness, lack of full aliveness.

This image was pleasing as it seemed to represent closely how I was conceiving things to be these days. But then the seeing happened that even this seemingly “true” image was completely unstable and subject to dissolving at any moment into complete not-knowing of anything, not having any representation, picture, or thought about my self or my experience. It was then seen that a deeper “truth” is the need to completely surrender everything, all knowing, into the not-knowing, to let go of every way of conceiving my self and my life and to “trust” the Unknown, that which is beyond thought and the conceiving mind. And this had to happen right now. But there was no way to “do” that, no movement of thought, no strategy that was not part of the known, the realm of thought and concepts.

Somehow in seeing all this clearly there was a sudden melting and a welling up of lightness, joy, and laughter. I’d been making a big deal of it and suddenly there was such an ease, simplicity, and obviousness to it all. A letting go or shift happened with no manipulation of thought and there I was, or Beingness was, just simply being. Such a sense of bliss was present, permeating every cell of my body, and a feeling of everything being resolved and at rest or peace in this Beingness.

There came a sense that in contemplating these matters so many times and having the experience of coming home to my true nature then moving away from it, then returning home again so often that there is easier and easier access to “home”. However, the resistance to the perceived emptiness, to complete not-knowing, was lately creating a subtle sense of separation from home much of the time, a kind of dissatisfaction and even cynicism with my experience of life. The joy and bliss is here as I write this and any thoughts about its continuing or being lost are just thoughts without significance arising in the space of not-knowing from which the joy is arising and expressing itself.