Meditative Self-Inquiry with Mukesh Gupta

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Meditative Self-Inquiry

December 12, 2021

Zoom Online

This session of meditative self-inquiry led by Mukesh Gupta, who reached us online from India, was focused on a question asked by Krishnamurti: “Is there a single factor that can solve all our problems?” Sixteen people in total were in attendance for the presentation which consisted of a talk by Mukesh followed by a good amount of time for questions and group exploration. After a short period of silence, Mukesh asked a challenging question right from the beginning. “What is the dominant element in our daily lives? What occupies us most of the day?” He then suggested that it was thinking. Although thought has practical value and is necessary, it also brings fear into our consciousness. It creates problems and suffering in our relationships and then tries to solve the problems it has itself created. We live in a world of images which create division and separateness and are driven by self-centredness. Is it possible to let go of all the contents of our consciousness and see what is actually present in that state of emptiness in which it seems nothing is happening? Can we meet the living moment fully?

Mukesh expanded on these topics for about forty-five minutes then opened the floor to questions and dialogue. One participant asked about superstition or stories created by thought and Mukesh wondered if we could look at the phenomenon without judgement and explore the related issues of self-centredness and insecurity. In this way self-inquiry could help us.  Another group member brought up the fact that fear distorts our perceptions and closes the “heart”. “How can we love unconditionally?” he asked. Mukesh offered that thought must be looked at as a universal element that creates fear, which originates in “unawareness”, avoidance, and not facing the reality of what is. The key is to be attentive. Attention is not an expression of thought; it is, rather, a wholistic intelligence free of conditioning, free of the “me”, of the “centre”. It can unlock the heart and put thought in its right place. Attention-based living is living from the heart. This was explored in its different aspects and in greater detail. We touched on the nature of silence and the silence of nature.

The central place of love was brought forward and its significance for being attentive was looked at from a few angles. It was suggested that meditation is only meaningful when there is love, and in our inquiry we must ask ourselves why love is not present. St. Augustine’s saying, “love and do what you will” was explored along with Krishnamurti’s statement that “I don’t mind what happens”. It was an insightful two hours of dialogue and inward focus of attention. We look forward to more time with Mukesh in the new year.

Self Study Meeting, December 5, 2021

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Self Study Meeting

December 5, 2021

Zoom Online

 

Seventeen people were present for this Sunday morning meeting which was focused on the March 1 – 17 entries in The Book of Life: Daily Meditations with Krishnamurti. These selections from K’s talks and writings looked into a number of aspects which came under the headings “Dependence”, “Attachment”, and “Relationships”. Feedback from the participants indicated that the readings were found to be extremely interesting and significant. The session began with a short talk by the facilitator (David) on the quality of attention suggested by Krishnamurti when we enter the journey of self-observation and self-knowledge. A short period of silence was then followed by a reading of the March 3 selection which deeply examined the root cause of dependency and attachment, connecting it with the avoidance of the sense of loneliness. In order to go beyond dependency we must know the nature of loneliness and how it is generated in our consciousness. We must “be with” our inner emptiness and see what is revealed when resistance to it is seen and dissolved.

The topic seemed to be a relevant and meaningful one to many participants, which awakened various responses and interactions within the group. Perhaps the greatest emphasis was given to the need to remain curious about the structure and challenge of loneliness and its significance in being a doorway to a deeper experience of Being and love. The whole of the meeting was taken up with discussion of the issues raised by the March 3 entry and a few other March entries mentioned by participants from their reading.

What is Our Relationship with Each Other?

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What is Our Relationship with Each Other?

Dialogue with Jackie McInley online

November 24 – 28, 2021

 

Jackie McInley joined us for the first time from the UK for five sessions of group dialogue exploring the question “What is our relationship with each other?” Each session was two hours or a little more and was attended by fifteen to seventeen people, including facilitators and staff. Participants were from as far as Australia, Sweden, Guatemala, Edmonton, and Ontario, as well as locals from the Victoria area.

Jackie began with a discussion of the methodology of the group process. Although it can be difficult for a group to consistently follow a thread of inquiry, that is what she suggested we would attempt to do. Normally we put a lot of thought into describing our experience, but in this case we would be observing how that is taking place and thereby penetrating the more superficial layers of our relationships. We would be looking at such questions as the source of our intention in being together as a group. Do we know why we are here? And what is it like if we don’t know? What is the space of not-knowing like? Can there be a gap in the known? If we have an answer we may be closing the space of inquiry. And what is the difference between intellectual “understanding” and fundamental change?

As we look at ourselves, can we forgive ourselves for our conditioned responses to each other and to the questions we ask? Can we see our assumptions and judgements without judgement? Can we see the subtleties of what is going on in our relating? At the same time, can we be kind with each other? Can we have fun with our observing, not having to always “get it right”? The practice of suspending our questions and reactions was explored along with the possibility of seeing the universality and connectedness of our problems and issues rather than merely focusing on the individual person who has an individual issue. Can that be the spirit of our inquiry, as Krishnamurti and David Bohm recommended. And can there be an underlying silence in us even when we are using words? Space and quietness are needed in order to see.

Jackie suggested a few experiments involving a quiet openness to whatever arises in us in the moment rather than a debate or discussion that seeks solutions and answers. The sharing was permeated by pauses and periods of silence from which spontaneous questions and observations could emerge. This allowing of a space of not-knowing was kept in the forefront throughout the five days with questions such as “Are we really listening to each other – and to everything?” and “Are we blocking our creativity by having answers?” “Are we creating a distance between ourselves and another, between a “me” and “my thoughts”? “Are we observing from a distance?” “Are we attached to our thoughts?” “Are we seeking attention or security?” There was an ongoing and rich investigation of our capacity to look and listen, which was pointed out to be more alive and full than the mechanical patterns of the “me”. We looked at the difference between “fact” and “fiction” in our observing and how we are “bound” by our thinking and our words. If there is no attention to this then we just repeat our conditioned responses. Is there something about conditioning that we like? Do we keep things hidden? Can we be attentive even when in a state of reaction and defensiveness?

Some more intimate or penetrating questions were asked. Do we take something from others in our relationships? Is thought capable of respecting boundaries? Does thought use others? What is it in us that can act differently? Is there a part of us that is free of the self? What about the so-called “Higher Self”? Jackie skillfully guided us to stay on track and keep returning to meaningful inquiry. We were encouraged to journal about our responses to what went on in the group and in the smaller ‘’breakout groups”, inviting deeper insight into our patterns of thought and feeling. The dialogue was an immersion in self-awareness and an inquiry into our ideas and concepts about awareness, self-knowledge, and what happens when we observe ourselves with such a persistent and inquiring attitude. For this participant it was a very interesting process which had an effect on my experience of daily life. Included were some experiences of beauty and joy in the “heart”. One additional meeting has been arranged as a further integration and opportunity for self-discovery.

The Urgency of Change Dialogue Group Meeting, November 21, 2021

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The Urgency of Change Dialogue Group Meeting

Sunday, November 21, 2021

Zoom Online

 

Unfortunately this meeting was affected by technical difficulties in getting the gathering started on Zoom. It took me (David) about forty-five minutes after the official start time to get the meeting running. I don’t know what the problem was but hope to clear it up for the next meeting I facilitate. Five members of the group were extremely patient and waited while I did all I could to get things working. I later saw that other group members had been emailing me during that time and realized I could probably have kept in touch with them by email and they might have been able to join the meeting once the technology was operative. That seemed too complicated for me while the confusion was happening, as my computer skills leave much to be desired, so I just remained hopeful that people would make a number of attempts to log in and soon would be able to gain access once I’d fixed things at my end (if possible) and those who were present had begun the dialogue.

As it turned out, when we were able to start the meeting forty-five minutes late there were six of us present. One more joined us near the end of the meeting. I appreciate the willingness to stay with the process displayed by those who stayed and understand completely that it was frustrating for those who were unable to make any connection due to the technical challenges.

The plan for the session had been to look carefully at the selected chapter entitled “Belief” in the Krishnamurti book The Urgency of Change and then to explore a number of issues related to belief that were not dealt with in the book, particularly beliefs related to our sense of identity. Are limiting ideas we have about ourselves given relevance and power through our belief in them? Are ideas about the “unknown” merely forms of belief without substance? Does the belief in security lead to a constant searching for something that doesn’t exist? And what is real security, if there is such a thing? How is fear related to these issues? These and other questions were to be investigated.

Once we got the meeting underway we did actually explore all of the proposed questions and other questions as well that arose during our communications, such as the quality of inquiry that must be present in us in order to truly undergo a transformation. It ended up being a relevant and very meaningful dialogue, in spite of the earlier confusion and difficulties. And the dialogue went on for about the usual length of time. It was an unexpectedly interesting and valuable experience for at least some of us – and maybe for all.

A New Mind and Heart: Beauty and the Sacred, November 20, 2021

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A New Mind and Heart: Beauty and the Sacred, an Inquiry into Inner Freedom

With Cynthia Overweg online

November 20, 2021

When introducing each installment of the “New Mind and Heart” series of presentations, Cynthia usually quotes J. Krishnamurti to the effect that in order to respond adequately to the current crisis in the world and in consciousness, there must be a new mind and heart. K’s approach, she explains, is a negative one in the sense that we must strip away whatever is inhibiting our awareness of the beauty of love and Being. A divided mind and heart create a divided world.

Sixteen people were in attendance for this “inquiry into inner freedom” which invited looking and listening with a quiet mind. Such perception energetically connects the brain and the heart and can access the wisdom of the latter. Heart and mind are then one. It is the conditioned mind that distorts our perception of ourselves, others, and the world.

Cynthia makes use of short quiet meditations interspersed with her talks, the question periods, and group discussion. She recommends quiet intervals during one’s daily activities to create a space of perception wherein beauty can be experienced. But what is beauty? The word beauty is not beauty, and an image of beauty is also not beauty. A deeper sense of beauty reveals itself when the “self” is absent. K calls this quality “sensitivity” and without it there is no beauty. Beauty is only possible when there is silence or stillness. In bringing about such silence in the mind, he maintains that “the act of seeing is the only truth”. Seeing brings transformation and awareness of the sacred, which is love and beauty. A serious man or woman, Cynthia said, must find out what is truly sacred. She shared more quotes from Krishnamurti’s teachings elucidating more fully his perspectives on love, compassion, and the sacred – and the fact that in order to know these qualities we must know the “total content of oneself.” K, she suggested, was always talking about love and what stood in its way.

The last half hour of the meeting was taken up with further group exploration of the central themes of Cynthia’s presentation. With her guidance there was an inquiry that was obviously enjoyed and valued by the participants. Much appreciation was expressed as the session came to a close.

“What is Meditation?” with Mukesh Gupta, November 14, 2021

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Meditative Self Inquiry: What is Meditation?

With Mukesh Gupta Online

Sunday, November 14, 2021

Ten people were in attendance for another presentation in the Meditative Self Inquiry series offered by Mukesh Gupta. In this case he was with us online from Europe to share his understanding of what J. Krishnamurti taught or expressed about meditation, a subject that has numerous ways of being conceived and described. After a short period of silence, Mukesh talked for forty minutes about meditation as Krishnamurti shared it, then opened up the session to questions from the participants. Following that the group was split up into small “Breakout” rooms of three for a more participatory and intimate experience of group dialogue or inquiry. Then we returned to the full meeting to share some of what took place in the small groups and to bring closure to the session.

Mukesh began his talk by pointing out that K usually began his inquiries into meditation by talking about what it is not rather than what it is. Meditation, according to Krishnamurti, is not a repetition of words (mantra), focusing on an image, following a certain practice or goal to be achieved in time, or an exercise in concentration. What is it, then? K does suggest that, in a positive sense, meditation is “putting our house in order”. This means bringing order to our inner life and activities and thereby creating order or harmony in our “outer” lives. But then the question is “How do we do this?” Can we do it with thought? Is that the appropriate tool, or is there a different energy available, an awareness different from thought which functions in the present moment rather than in the past (as thought does) and which is choiceless by its very nature? The energy of attention or quiet self observation is free from the thought-created “self” or “me” and free of “the known”. The functioning of this attention is meditation and it empties consciousness of its contents. It is not an effortful activity, for effort to change ourselves only creates more conflict. A simple watching without naming or judgement brings a deep understanding of the contents of our consciousness, which releases trapped energies. This observation must be an activity of love: judgement or condemnation is not helpful. In meditation the meditator dissolves. As long as there is a meditator, an entity meditating, there is no real meditation. Meditation, Mukesh agreed with K, is an unpremeditated act. It is to be aware of the whole process of “the meditator”. Self-centred activity must be watched and understood. We must be with the facts of who and what we are, asking deep questions about our identity. Our questions must bring forth a deeper response wherein the active mind becomes silent. Living and meditation are then not separate and there is a constant learning without conclusions.

When the group was invited to pose any significant questions there were a number of topics that were broached. The issue of losing attention when occupied with activities was raised to begin with. Mukesh answered very directly and clearly by saying that we learn to be aware and become more aware by being aware. We can experiment with awareness in our lives, which will slow down the thinking mind and make observation easier. Another questioner mentioned the fact that there always seems to be a “me” or some content present within our consciousness. It was asked if this can then be watched. Can it be seen that the independent “me” is actually an illusion?

The small breakout groups seem usually to be enjoyed and found valuable, and the thirty minutes allocated to that part of the meeting was apparently interesting for the participants. On returning to the full group, a final sharing of our experiences was an appropriate way to wind up the event. Mukesh’s guidance through the subject of meditation was appreciated.

Self Study Meeting, November 7, 2021

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Self Study Meeting

Sunday, November 7, 2021

Zoom online

 

Thirteen people were present for the November Self Study Meeting sponsored by the Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada. We are still meeting online, which allows for participation with participants from all over the world. In this case we were joined by interested people from as far away as New Zealand and from coast to coast across North America. This meeting we were scheduled to explore the March readings from The Book of Life: Daily Meditations with Krishnamurti. The subheadings for the four sections of the chapter are Dependence, Attachment, Relationship, and Fear, and the selections cover some of the most central of Krishnamurti’s teachings about the nature of human consciousness and experience. The challenges of looking directly into our inner emptiness and confronting our attachments to the sense of identity which comprises our “self” are explored in detail. The group discussion brought up various questions and perceptions which created what one participant called “perhaps the best dialogue I have ever been part of.” There was a rich communication of insights and understandings between the group members and apparently a meaningful examination of our thinking around these subjects as we study Krishnamurti and apply what he says to our own self-inquiry and self-observation. Occasional disagreements seemed sometimes counterproductive but they may have added to the mix of the group interaction and stimulated a fairly intense sharing.

Building Resilience, Healing Trauma, October 22 – 24, 2021

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Building Resilience, Healing Trauma

With Lynn Fraser

October 22 – 24, 2021

Lynn Fraser conducted this three-part workshop from her home in Nova Scotia via Zoom. She had been connected with the Krishnamurti Centre through her assistance in Scott Kiloby’s workshops prior to the pandemic and she brought back some of his mindfulness skills and practices in working with our conditionings. She added her own refinements with a lovely style and presence while teaching us resources effective in being with challenging feelings and mental states in ourselves.

Each session was about 1 ½ hours in length and was attended by between twenty and twenty-five people. Each presentation began with the sharing of a number of concepts essential to the understanding of healing Lynn wanted to communicate to us. We then moved into some experiential exercises designed to ground us in the resilience and embodiment of our basic goodness and well-being. From this groundedness we can care for ourselves in a kind and compassionate way that has the capacity to heal our wounds from the past and to bring us to a fuller living in the present moment. The exercises involved consciously working with our breathing, body scanning, and a mindful listening and sharing of experiences. The intended effect of this inner focus and inquiry was to create a sense of safety and connection with ourselves and others along with a sensitive awareness of our inner life and our relationships.

We were invited to notice our varying states of anxiety or ease as the weekend progressed and we explored the reactions of our nervous systems to the questions and meditations we were engaged with by Lynn and by the sharings from the group members. We were in a process of learning about ourselves and trusting ourselves more deeply. And Lynn shared a number of “emergency” techniques for being present with intense experiences that might arise during our journey towards a more and more consistently stable sense of Being and inner peace. Some of the techniques served as a review of those taught by Scott in his times with us.

The three sessions were a rich journey through our inner worlds and our ways of interacting with the world around us. It seemed that most of us felt nourished and supported by such a time of looking into ourselves, listening to the “truths” of our inner life, and sharing with a group of seekers committed to the same journey of self-knowledge.

The Urgency of Change Dialogue Group Meeting, October 17, 2021

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The Urgency of Change Dialogue Meeting

Sunday, October 17, 2021

Zoom Online

Nine members of this dialogue group showed up for the Sunday morning meeting online. Four group members had informed us they would not be able to attend for various reasons and one was a mystery. The plan for the session was to do a final review of the chapter on “Fear” in The Urgency of Change because of its central importance in Krishnamurti’s teachings and in the discussions we’d had over the year while exploring the text and looking into our own selves. We were also interested in revisiting the idea of “action” as Krishnamurti speaks of it, as well as looking at some subtleties of the non-dual teachings that are popular these days and that seemed relevant to our inquiries.

After a short period of silence to begin the session, we began reading the text together and asking questions about some of the passages. As usual there was little hesitation in bringing forth issues to contemplate and discuss. We looked at our experiences of fear and how it operates in us. Is it similar to how the “Questioner” in the text describes it in one place, like a “black, bottomless, ghastly pit”, or is it quite different than that? Some agreed that the mind or thought can indeed project that kind of an experience when looking into the unknown. A number of different aspects of fear and dependency were brought forward for examination and the conversation took a direction towards love as the answer to the issue of fear. Krishnamurti says in the chapter that when there is love there is no fear, which raised questions of how we experience and understand love. Can love be described in positive terms, or is it more helpful to follow what seems to be K’s approach, which we could call “negation”. When we see clearly that in us which is not love and “discard” it, then what remains is love, though we may not be able to adequately describe it. Still, we may enjoy doing our best to say something about it and perhaps capturing some of the fragrance of it. It was pointed out by a few participants that as soon as thought begins to conceptualize something like love we are in danger of becoming caught in rigid assertions about reality which are disconnected from anything really true. A few people shared some deep perceptions about the nature of conditioned thought and it’s hold on our consciousness.

As we moved ahead with our dialogue we touched upon the subject of action and its relation in K’s outlook to pure seeing. There were insightful sharings from a number of the group. “The seeing is the action” was an idea that seemed to have the ring of truth within the given context. The question was asked whether it is possible to talk about anything without bringing in the principle of duality. This invited in the subject of “the observer” and “the observed”, which K seems to consider very important to understand. We came upon a resolution of the paradox between unity and duality which seemed to resonate for at least some – and perhaps most – of us.

It then seemed clear that we had, without consciously attempting to do so, opened all the questions we’d planned to examine before the meeting. We had received some meaningful insights into them and had dissolved the dilemma of seeing thought as an impediment that must be gotten rid of. This understanding seemed to bring us a sense of freedom, which was a good place to call the meeting to a close.

A New Heart and Mind, October 16, 2021

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A New Heart and Mind: Compassion and Indifference

With Cynthia Overweg online

Saturday, October 16, 2021

 

Cynthia joined us from Ojai for another session in the New Heart and Mind series. Nine people were present for the event. The title is taken from the Krishnamurti quote which says that in order to meet the present crisis in the world we must have a new heart and mind. Cynthia will be presenting one more session each month until the end of the year. This presentation was entitled “Compassion and Indifference.” The format was to begin with a talk, including slides with quotes from Krishnamurti’s works along with pictures of beautiful nature scenes. As usual, there were meditative pauses with music in order to notice our breathing patterns and to bring attention to our bodies and minds and their functioning in the moment. After a little more than an hour’s talk, with some audience involvement, there was time for further questions from the participants, with responses from Cynthia and group members. Thus the issues raised in the talk were explored further as a group.

Cynthia jumped in from the start with some crucial questions and concepts to guide the flow of events. She asked how we will remake the world as we move into the future given the changes that are upon us currently. Will we reshape it with compassion or with indifference? And what are these two things? The dictionary meaning of compassion is “to suffer with”. Being totally with sorrow, Krishnamurti has said, awakens compassion for all life forms. This may mean realizing that the other is me and I am the other, with all its implications. Also, do we have compassion for ourselves and our own journeys through loss and grief, or do we harden ourselves against the suffering of life and, thereby, become indifferent?

She asked us what we have noticed in ourselves in relation to compassion and indifference. Do we feel love and gratitude for the privilege of living and learning? On the other hand, are we ill-prepared for the privilege of living? Self-understanding is the foundation of compassion and love and therefore we must look carefully at ourselves and be totally with what arises in us as we move through life. “A mutation must take place in the very seed of thought itself,” Krishnamurti maintained. There must be a flowering of compassion, without which the sacred can never be found. Elie Wiesel was quoted by Cynthia to say that “the opposite to life is not death, it is indifference.” Then she asked why we ignore the consequences of indifference. Are we aware of our relationship with the earth? Do we feel compassion for the earth?

K said that “It is only love that brings our redemption.” The most important thing is that we see ourselves and our lives with clarity, which happens in a quiet mind. Our “seeing’ must bring understanding and the dissolving of the egoic self that creates conflict and blocks love. What is necessary is an inward revolution which is the awakening of love and compassion. This is also freedom.

This was another excellent installment in The New Heart and Mind series of presentations. Many significant questions were raised for us to explore further in our own time and clues from K’s teachings were liberally offered.