Exploring Ourselves

Dialogue session with Jackie McInley (online)

Sunday, February 20, 2022

Present: 17

This was the second of a series of bi-monthly 2 hour dialogue sessions on “Exploring Ourselves” with Jackie McInley. She started with asking what people would like to discuss. Several brought up questions relating to fear, so the dialogue started with the question: What is fear?

This was followed up by participants probing into various aspects of Fear:

How is it created? It seems based on memory and uncertainty about what could happen.

It seems to be related to a feeling of ‘not being good enough’ and lacking self-acceptance, but how can I accept myself if I don’t really know myself?

There seems to be a sense of threat, and even in a benign setting such as this dialogue session there may be fear of speaking up, with related sensations in the body, such as a pounding heart, sweaty palms, etc.

What is maintaining this sense of fear now? It seems to have to do with our sense of a separate self.

Several persons mentioned that once they heard that their fear or anxiety was shared by others in the group (not only I have it, but we have it), there was a sudden noticeable dissipation of fear.

Towards the end, Jackie raised the question if it is possible to view fear as a signal and part of a system to be observed, without seeing it as a problem that needs to be worked out? And not even calling it fear. What happens then?

It was a lively dialogue session that bodes well for the series and seemed well appreciated by all.

RT

“A New Mind”

Three day online workshop with Mukesh Gupta

January 28 – 30, 2022

Mukesh joined us from Varanasi, India, for this three-session workshop which he introduced as “a meditative and transformative self-inquiry workshop.” The title of the event, “A New Mind”, was appropriate as we begin a new year. Each session was 1 ½ hours in length and, as usual, focused on questions and understandings inspired by the teachings of J. Krishnamurti and by the individual explorations of the presenter, Mukesh, and the participants in the event. The workshop was attended by twelve participants.

Mukesh began, after a short silent meditation, by asking what is the need for a “new mind”. This led to the question “Are we living with a sense of order, love, and beauty? In fact, the way we are living displays a lack of such qualities and the presence of self-centredness and violence, which indicates that our lives need a thorough exploration. We must first understand the limitations of the old mind which is conditioned, is a result of influences, lives in set patterns, and lives in the past, in memories, residues, and stories. It is dominated by the thinking process and the creation of images, is primarily concerned with pleasure and security, is attached to answers and prefers to remain in the comfort zone of the known. It is not a free mind.

Mukesh reminded us that we are looking at the structures of the old mind without any judgement or condemnation, as if studying the behaviour of our own child. The challenge is to become awake to the suffering of this old mind, with its constant generation of problems. It has too much reliance on knowledge, which binds us, lives with conclusions and beliefs, and is authority-bound, habitually repeating old ideas. Other qualities of the “old mind” are that it is self-centred, living in fear, reacting to life, inattentive, and not a loving mind. Paradoxically, without rejecting or attempting to get rid of it, this “mind” must be understood for freedom to dawn and for the qualities of the “new mind” to come forth.

The essence of the new mind is listening in openness, from a quiet space, without resistance or a motive. It listens from the heart, with the whole being, and breaks down the old patterns of thinking. The moment we start looking and listening there is immediate freedom and then staying with whatever is happening is itself the deep exploration. There is no effort or struggle necessary. After some group discussion, Mukesh asked participants to read over and contemplate some material (being emailed to us) on the topic being investigated and to consider experientially what might be the deepest pattern of the old mind functioning in themselves.

In the second session Mukesh right away emphasised that the looking and listening happen in this present moment. The “new mind” is immediately available. Is there really any block to this seeing, with its love and compassion? With this observing, there is an emptying of the egoic mind, a putting aside of the intellect, and an opening to the energies of the universe and the beauty of life.

After his initial talk, Mukesh suggested we break into smaller groups and inquire in a possibly more intimate setting. We could, if we wished, explore what is preventing the flowering of the new mind. Can we reveal the blocks? If we do, the transformation happens on its own. The breakout groups were allotted twenty-five minutes to discuss and inquire; the reports afterwards indicated an enjoyment of the process. Pretty much the same format was followed on the third day with some new questions being introduced. In the breakout groups participants could focus on a question that had particular relevance for them or could explore the nature of Presence and Awareness. Again this exercise was found to be enjoyable and valuable. We returned to the main group for a final sharing of what was significant for us over the weekend, which involved some expression of appreciation for the experience. Mukesh’s guidance was, as always, skillful and kind, providing a space for productive inquiry and insight. We are grateful for his work and dedication.

Self Study Meeting

Sunday, January 2, 2022

Zoom online

 

Fourteen people were in attendance for this installment of what has been a series of monthly meetings to explore deeply the teachings of J. Krishnamurti. The meetings have been going on now for a few years and most recently have been via the internet, which allows participants to join us from all over the world. Our investigations are supported and stimulated by selections from The Book of Life: Daily Meditations with Krishnamurti. In this case the readings were the April 1 – 14 selections focusing mainly on the topic of desire.

The April 4 entry was used as guidance for a silent contemplation to begin the session and bring attention to observing ourselves. The passage was read slowly while participants sat quietly, opening to the meaning and experience of what K was saying. The main thrust of the pointers was that if we look at desire without any judgement or “condemnation” then the nature of desire will be revealed in unexpected ways and with new and fresh aspects. K challenges us to be open not just to particular desires but also to the “total quality” of desire. The contemplation of these utterances triggered a variety of responses, sometimes quite contradictory and emphasising different perspectives and ways of approaching the issue of desire in us. There were manifestations of apparent conflict between participants and, on the other hand, of significant “truths” or insights. There were sharings of appreciation for the opportunity to discuss such subtle but important matters with like-minded individuals. As usual, the nature of “the self” was questioned again and again and discussed with some intensity. Many of the group agreed that kindness, patience, and compassion are elements much needed in the practice of dialogue if it is to be not only fruitful but also enjoyable.

The Urgency of Change Dialogue Group meeting

Sunday, December 19, 2021

Zoom Online

Eight members of the Urgency of Change Dialogue Group were able to attend this final meeting of 2021. The focus of the session was the chapter entitled “Dreaming” in the J. Krishnamurti book, The Urgency of Change. The chapter contains an interesting discussion of the similarity between our daily use of symbolic language and the symbolic nature of our nighttime dreaming activity. One segment in particular seemed to communicate the essence of K’s teachings about the “self” and the causes of unhappiness in our living. “Symbols are a device of the brain to protect the psyche; this is the whole process of thought. The “me” is a symbol, not an actuality. Having created the symbol of the “me”, thought identifies itself with its conclusion, with the formula, and then defends it: all misery and sorrow come from this.” This statement by Krishnamurti formed the basis for much of our group dialogue and inspired some unravelling of the truth of it in our own life experience. K’s core ideas about the mind’s tendency to separate the observer and the observed were very much a part of the inquiry and, as such, seemed to be a fitting completion to a year of exploration.

Appreciation was expressed by participants for the opportunity to share such genuine exploration of ourselves while at the same time acknowledging the challenging nature of honest observation of the often tricky mind and its motives for behaviour. A quiet sense of comradeship seemed to have been generated by such an authentic and self-revealing endeavor. There was little doubt that we would all continue to pursue our interest in self-knowledge. We will have a “final” meeting in the first month of the new year.

Meditative Self-Inquiry

December 12, 2021

Zoom Online

This session of meditative self-inquiry led by Mukesh Gupta, who reached us online from India, was focused on a question asked by Krishnamurti: “Is there a single factor that can solve all our problems?” Sixteen people in total were in attendance for the presentation which consisted of a talk by Mukesh followed by a good amount of time for questions and group exploration. After a short period of silence, Mukesh asked a challenging question right from the beginning. “What is the dominant element in our daily lives? What occupies us most of the day?” He then suggested that it was thinking. Although thought has practical value and is necessary, it also brings fear into our consciousness. It creates problems and suffering in our relationships and then tries to solve the problems it has itself created. We live in a world of images which create division and separateness and are driven by self-centredness. Is it possible to let go of all the contents of our consciousness and see what is actually present in that state of emptiness in which it seems nothing is happening? Can we meet the living moment fully?

Mukesh expanded on these topics for about forty-five minutes then opened the floor to questions and dialogue. One participant asked about superstition or stories created by thought and Mukesh wondered if we could look at the phenomenon without judgement and explore the related issues of self-centredness and insecurity. In this way self-inquiry could help us.  Another group member brought up the fact that fear distorts our perceptions and closes the “heart”. “How can we love unconditionally?” he asked. Mukesh offered that thought must be looked at as a universal element that creates fear, which originates in “unawareness”, avoidance, and not facing the reality of what is. The key is to be attentive. Attention is not an expression of thought; it is, rather, a wholistic intelligence free of conditioning, free of the “me”, of the “centre”. It can unlock the heart and put thought in its right place. Attention-based living is living from the heart. This was explored in its different aspects and in greater detail. We touched on the nature of silence and the silence of nature.

The central place of love was brought forward and its significance for being attentive was looked at from a few angles. It was suggested that meditation is only meaningful when there is love, and in our inquiry we must ask ourselves why love is not present. St. Augustine’s saying, “love and do what you will” was explored along with Krishnamurti’s statement that “I don’t mind what happens”. It was an insightful two hours of dialogue and inward focus of attention. We look forward to more time with Mukesh in the new year.