It was my sincere pleasure to attend Dr. Hillary Rodrigues’ retreat this past weekend. The retreat was called “Why Not This?”, and we explored this question from a variety of angles. Hillary’s facilitation style is really quite special—he speaks from a place of deep and diverse knowledge, and the clarity and dynamism with which he speaks is powerful and illuminating. As I’ve been studying the similarities between Vedanta and Buddhist traditions, as well as Krishnamurti’s teachings, it was also refreshing and exciting to hear Hillary tie these all together in such an intelligent manner (while also pointing out some apparent differences). So, why not this? Why is this not enlightenment? Why don’t we experience this moment as being a perfect expression of the Absolute? Could it be that this, being what is—which includes everything in the present moment—is not anything less than what these mythical spiritual ideals point to? Why do so many of us seem to have such a difficult time being present? Why are we not content with this, just as it is? Personally, I understand that past conditioning gets in the way of what some might call “ being present”. The past lives in us, governing various levels of how we relate to others, the world and ourselves. As I walked down to the ocean during one of the experiential exercises that had us contemplating the question, “Why not this?”, I saw how the past was present in my mind and body, as a feeling of not being connected to my surroundings, or even to myself for that matter. Sometimes even when our minds seem relatively quiet, old stories can be bubbling beneath the surface, creating underlying tension, anxiety, or a general inability to fully relax into what is. I observed this in myself during that exercise. Later, Hillary said something that struck me, saying something along the lines of, “Maybe what is also includes the seeming disparity with what is?”. And this is the truth of the matter, isn’t it? No matter how we’re feeling, how unenlightened or enlightened, how joyful or sad, can we just be with that? Because whatever our current experience is, that’s what is! Krishnamurti often talked of the opportunity for transformation in not moving away from the fact of what is, not being swept up by the movement of the psychological self. Of course, any effort to not be swept up would also be a psychological movement rooted in and perpetuating inner division, so perhaps a simpler way of interpreting such a message might be, “relax, and meet every experience with purely observational, non-judgmental, choiceless awareness”. The thing is, just as Buddha nature is said to be our true nature, and the Self in Vedanta is said to be our true self, choiceless awareness—which connects effortlessly with what is—is also our natural state. In Buddhism, all phenomena are said to be inherently selfless, and the same can be said about choiceless awareness in regards to how we experience all phenomena. The fact is that we are naturally choicelessly aware of all our senses, including our inner sense of self and thought. It’s only because we mistake ourselves for the mentally fabricated self that we believe and seemingly experience otherwise. Getting acquainted with the space in which thoughts arise can help us to see the truth of this for ourselves; an interesting question to ask ourselves is, “Who, or what, hears thoughts?” Does that presence exercise choice, praise or condemnation? Does it make any effort to be what it is? All psychological movement, including apparent movement away or towards what is, is a form of effort. What we are though, the truth of our being in this very moment, is not something that comes about by way of effort, it simply just is. Another angle Hillary discussed was the “neti, neti” approach found in many Vedanta teachings. This is a way of negating any phenomena that arise in experience as containing any inherent self or as being absolute expressions of reality. There are some similarities here to the teachings of no-self in Buddhism, but teachings in Vedanta state that once you have swept away all the delusions rooted in wrong identification, your true Self—being the one and only Self of all selves—alone remains. From this angle, we can ask, “Why not this?” Hillary also shared many great quotes from Krishnamurti on what is, and the division and conflict created by moving away from what is to what is not. It was a very powerful retreat for me. Hillary is an amazing facilitator, and it was really nice to reconnect with some folks whom I met last year as well as a few new people. The combination of high quality facilitators and high quality participants make these retreats very special events for me. Thanks to Hillary and all the beautiful participants for making this event truly special, and to Ralph and KECC for bringing Hillary here and making these events happen. 

Bill B. asked if I could share his recap of a recent Krishnamurti study group, below.  Thanks to Robert for sharing his notes as well… Last Saturday afternoon, four of us got together to read from “The First and Last Freedom”. Krishnamurti talked about the great importance we put on knowledge, and how it adds to our feeling of certainty and security. We also sometimes substitute belief for knowledge, creating a mental model of the world, based on assumptions, fears, and desires that are not always based on truth. K. mentions that the desire to be secure, to be certain, causes us to place immense value on knowledge. The question is asked: “Is it possible for the mind to be free from knowledge and belief?”. He also notes that this is the true path to freedom. The group acknowledged that anything new that we see is filtered through the distortion of our memories and beliefs – therefore it cannot truly be seen. K. suggests that a mind in that state can never have true peace. Krishnamurti is relentless in his approach to inquiring into thoughts and actions, and especially how the mind creates its own world. Some of our conversation went beyond the concepts in the chapter but were intriguing nonetheless. We discussed how it can be seen that even the mind or thought is not personal – but rather universal to all apparent people. And that it seems to create an earth… trees… mountains and people, just like a virtual reality game that we are all playing. But on closer investigation by scientists, it has been discovered that there really isn’t anything physical at all. Nothing solid really exists as a stand-alone entity – including bodies, planets and stars. One member thought that Thich Nhat Hanh put it nicely when he described a flower as having emerged from earth, water, soil, sun and consciousness. In fact, each flower is made completely of non-flower elements… thus, whatever we see around us, including ourselves, all are essentially emerging and part of the oneness. Another member brought up that these discoveries show clearly that all there is to a body or world is the impersonal sensing of it by the apparent small ‘m’ mind. Underlying that: as Awareness we are also the screen that seems to be hosting this ongoing parade of appearances. A key takeaway point for some of us was that as our beliefs and mental constructs fall away, we begin to notice this Awareness – being less distracted by the ideas that tend to float by, or the myriad of beliefs or images we have projected onto the screen.

  Sunday Event in Victoria July 12, 2015 This Sunday’s event at the Church of Truth was entitled “Emotions and the Separate Self”.  Fifteen people gathered for the afternoon session which began with a handout from Krishnamurti’s book Freedom From the Known, the basic text of these meetings.  The handout and a short video clip of K speaking on the topic of violence focused on how to look at emotions in ourselves.  A dialogue followed in which many viewpoints were expressed and discussed, including the biological basis of violence and a question as to why we consider violence, anger, or any emotion to be right or wrong.  The facilitator asked if there was a specific question that people were passionate to go into and the energy of the group seemed to become more focused.  After a lively interaction there was a tea break and a short video of Rupert Spira speaking of how feelings are generated and the central role of the story of the (imaginary) separate self in the generation of emotions and reactions.   This was followed by a short period of silence and more verbal exploration.  Some participants expressed an appreciation of the material presented and the group process.  As the facilitator, I was inspired afterwards to look at what we are really attempting to do in these sessions.  I felt some clarity was realized which may be helpful in the future.

The July Eckhart Tolle Meetup was set against the backdrop of a light summer drizzle, refreshing after such warm weather this summer.  The talk focused on the egoic identity that seems to want problems in order to thrive.  Eckhart described how the ‘self-identity’ can be somewhat addicted to thinking and in particular, projecting forward, looking back or judging what is.  Being focused on the now, allows some of that to slip away – in particular – the recursive thought that something isn’t right. That this moment isn’t enough.  Krishnamurti provides an interesting perspective as well on the tendency to look for problems:  “What is it that we are discontented with? Surely with what is. The what is may be the social order, the what is may be the relationship, the what is may be what we are, the thing we are essentially – which is, the ugly, the wandering thoughts, the ambitions, the frustrations, the innumerable fears; that is what we are. In going away from that, we think we shall find an answer to our discontent. So we are always seeking a way, a means to change the ‘what is’…” One of the eight who attended the gathering shared her strategy of pausing to take three full breaths.  I’ve used this in past, and even have a ‘pause-reminder’ taped onto my computer:  Am I Still Breathing?  It can be very effective to stop and fully be with the breath when circumstances are challenging – not needing to turn away from angst, but to simply be with it without telling stories about it.  A sharp tone in someone’s voice becomes simply a strange sound rather than an accusation… and my own defensiveness can simply be an odd human reflex.   And as I rest in awareness, there is no end to the stillness/peace in which these apparent ‘problems’ seem to emerge and then change or fade… They have no life of their own but that which the mind gives them. Thanks once again for the peace (and space) offered by KECC!  

  Krishnamurti Study Group Saturday, July 4, 2015   The topic of study this week was chapter 6 in Krishnamurti’s classic The First and Last Freedom.  The chapter looks into the issue of belief and asks some challenging question of the reader, such as “Can you as an individual be free from this urge, this craving to be secure, which expresses itself in the desire to believe in something?”   Eight participants explored and discussed the need for security and beliefs at different levels.  The subject was seen to be deeply significant in our day-to-day experience and the discussion was spirited and revealing.  The next meeting on July 25 will continue with chapter 6.