Self-inquiry

December 3, 2023

With Jackie McInley

At 538 Swanwick Rd. in Metchosin

(the Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada)

Thirteen people in total were present for this, the last meeting with Jackie on her present trip to Canada. She picked up on a subject that had been looked into during the previous meeting in Victoria: the idea of the “mask” and if we are functioning with or without one. How authentic are we in our moment-to-moment interactions with each other?

Once the idea of the mask had been re-introduced we sat for five minutes or so in silence. There was a comment that it was nice to have such a quiet beginning. Then Jackie gave her usual short introduction to the dialogue and responded to a few inquiries about what is allowed in it. Anything is allowed, she explained. We can talk about and explore anything we wish to, but it usually is more meaningful when we focus on some issue that has some weight for us. A spontaneous silence came upon the group for some minutes, at which point one participant took the risk to expose his mask by sharing some of the insecurities and anxieties that were commonplace for him in his daily life and the self-definitions that went along with those feelings. He ended by summarising his ideas about himself with the words “I am a loser.”

Another participant challenged the first by asking “Why, then, does the mask continue to exist?” Various members of the group contributed ideas about the dynamics of group interaction. “Is it common to project a mask in such a situation? Does everyone feel insecure when speaking out in front of a group? It was suggested that Krishnamurti is offering an alternative experience in that he is speaking of a process of self-observation that can be applied to any life situation. Such a close watching of one’s responses can bring in a fresh perception of oneself which involves a continuous learning about oneself and a questioning of the habits of thinking that are determining one’s experience. Such observation can create a space in oneself where a kind of freedom is revealed. The session concluded with what seemed like a satisfactory feeling of peacefulness and harmony.

DB

Self-inquiry

November 26, 2023

With Jackie McInley

At KECC Metchosin

Eleven people were present for this Sunday afternoon meeting at the Swanwick Road location for the Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada. The session was facilitated by Jackie McInley, who is visiting us from the UK and lending her passion and skill with group dialogue to assist our attempts to engage in meaningful discussions or “meditations” about the nature of self-exploration and self-discovery. Without being an authority, she “leads” the groups in looking into questions about ourselves and about life as we are experiencing it. As the setting is one where people have an interest in what J. Krishnamurti has said about such matters, the subjects of “study” are usually related to self-knowledge and insight into our own nature, both as individuals and as members of the human race. Sometimes the investigation takes a turn into unexpected directions, but these often turn out to be interesting in surprising and challenging ways, which was the case in today’s session.

When the attendees were asked what they would like to discuss, one participant introduced a topic involving the keeping of secrets and the creation of a disharmony when such “secrets” were held within and not shared with the group. On the other hand, it was pointed out how such secret behaviours that one may have engaged in, when shared, can break down barriers and promote a greater sense of communion and cohesiveness within the group. Some group members felt that such sharing might be “dangerous” in that others may have strong judgments about the behaviour described. In such cases conflict and division might result from a lack of trust in the results of such sharing. There was a question of what would be helpful to share and what would not and some degree of fear about taking such risks.

The conversation turned towards the almost universal experience of loneliness and the depth of the human need to find comfort in transcending our sense of isolation and separateness. The exploration of loneliness went quite deep and there was some resistance to ending the conversation. It seems that these group meetings have taken us into depths that we are reluctant to leave for the more superficial levels of oursurface interactions and relationships. At the same time, there may be an awakening of uncomfortable feelings and sensations which can be difficult to “be with”. Still, being with them seems necessary in order to penetrate them and “go through” a kind of “death” process wherein the “ego” self may dissolve and freedom from the self may be realised.

DB

Self-inquiry
Sunday, November 19, 2023
With Jackie McInley
At KECC Metchosin location

This Sunday afternoon meeting was attended by ten people, most of
whom were familiar participants in dialogue meetings sponsored by the
Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada. There was quite an intricate
sharing and weaving of thoughts, perceptions, questions, and challenges
to our assumptions and subtle concepts or activities of the mind.
Jackie began the session by asking the group “Do we have the energy to
inquire?” The question took us back to some recent meetings where we
had questioned the level of intensity we were bringing to the inquiry. We
then continued to probe into the subject of self-observation or
self-looking and the possibility of realising some significant degree of
freedom within the process. It was asked what was generating our
“energy” within a group, with care to notice how the concept of energy
was being used. We examined for some time the question “What are we
– or what am I – alert to in the dialogue conversation? It was suggested
that the most important factor in shaping the experience was the arising
of the “me” idea which tends to creep into our thinking regularly as we
talk and express ourselves. Are we alert to the “me” as it enters the
conversation and thought identifies with it and with the images that form
the idea of “me”? And do we see that the me is always looking for
security and stability in its movements. It was questioned if thought and
its movements are reliable or not given that thought is so often seeking
security in its activities. It seemed that we touched on some fairly
profound discoveries concerning the nature of the self. There was a
sense that the meeting had been both interesting and worthwhile in
terms of inquiry and self-exploration.

DB

Self-inquiry with Jackie McInley

Wednesday, November 15, 2023

At Esquimalt Gorge Park Pavilion

Victoria, BC

Twelve people in total were present for this Wednesday afternoon meeting sponsored by the Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada and held at the beautiful new pavilion in Esquimalt Gorge Park. The idea of hosting the meetings in Victoria is to make them more accessible for people living in town than having to drive out to the Centre in Metchosin.

As is usually the case, we began with about five minutes of silence followed by a brief talk by Jackie introducing the subject of “dialogue” to those not familiar. Somewhat surprisingly, she pointed out that we were not here to learn something or to become something (more free, loving, clear, etc.) The intention of dialogue in Krishnamurti circles is to see what we actually are. What is driving our lives in ways we may not be aware of? Can we see, within the group interactions, what is actually going on within us, within our thoughts and feelings, in a fresh and revealing way? Can we discover something new about ourselves?

Jackie asked what we would like to look at today and told a story of some happenings that had taken place while she was facilitating a dialogue group online a few days before. The incident had produced some conflict within the group, apparently based on a fear of offending other individuals. It was suggested that a desire for cohesion would inevitably create some conflict and the group spent some time looking at issues arising out of opposing desires for cohesion and individuality. Could the two co-exist? We explored some of the ways thought creates our reality and our world.

During our communication Jackie remarked that there was a lack of intensity in the group which she was experiencing as boring and “incoherent”. She wondered if asking a question about our sense of fear when speaking in front of a group would open up the dialogue and make it more “interesting”. She asked if we all felt fear when in such a situation, which opened up several avenues of inquiry. Themes of connection and disconnection were brought forward and it was suggested that attachment to an identity blocks connection and love. Is it possible to feel our vulnerability and yet not get caught in the full impact of feelings like guilt, for example. Can there be a sense of being stressed without losing the sense of space which surrounds our feelings and thoughts? This seemed like a valuable theme to pursue, but it was time to bring the meeting to a close. Participants were quite animated as they packed up and departed.

DB