Self-Inquiry with Joel Kroeker, November 2, 2025
The discussion began with how we encounter dissolution in various forms. An example was given about the feeling of losing one’s mind or memory and how this triggers fear and resistance. This led to exploring how this can also occur with the inability to sleep, which can be seen as avoiding facing the reality of another mundane day, or as the body itself being driven by the anxious mind that is trying to “do” something even when nothing is needing to be done. The question arose, “how does one stay with the direct experience of dissolution without effort fully ‘doing’ something or without simply creating yet another version of ‘me’?”
The image of The Christ facing the Cross came up as a “helpful metaphor for our own experience of facing ‘what is’ even when one would rather avoid the intensity and suffering of facing this”and all of the myriad distractions that we tend to choose instead of facing “what is.”
The image of a Void inside was explored as an image of “what is”, particularly in relation to the experience of aging and mental decline.
We realized together that facing the reality of “what is” might be our own version of willingly (and “obediently”) surrendering to our version of the cross to bear.
We explored various ways of describing this experience in our own individual lives and inner interiority.
– Joel Kroeker
