Spiritual Inquiry Meetup:  Relationships and Conflict, February 12, 2017  

This month’s Spiritual Inquiry Meetup at Church of Truth focused on relationships and consideration as to how we relate to one another.  A number of talks were profiled featuring Krishnamurti, Scott Kiloby and Rupert Spira.  There were seven who joined in for this discussion and each brought a different perspective to bear on the topic.  A few of the key messages that surfaced follow.

We tend to relate to one another based on projections we have about each other – our ideas about who our partner is, or stories about their motivations or actions – this prevents a true seeing of one another.  We are only seeing what our mind is creating about the other, rather than the true person.  K. suggests that a deep questioning of those assumptions, and  a deeper seeing is possible when mental projections fall away.

Much of the discomfort and suffering associated with our relationships has to do with ‘under the radar’ needs that we are subtly trying to have met through our partners (e.g. for validation, worthiness, recognition or power).  Kiloby emphasised this and encouraged us to become deeply self-aware of these areas of tension and rather than covering them up or avoiding them, trying to allow ourselves to fully meet these internal areas of fear, stress or anxiety. 

The group had a lively discussion – including strategies for listening and truly being with each other, as well as committing to meeting conflict head on to enable mutual solutions (rather than leaving residual frustrations for a future time).  Of course there also was a question about whether we truly are independent individuals and what relating might be like if all exchanges were born from an experience and deep knowing of inherent one-ness.   

It was a wonderful way to spend a Sunday afternoon!  Thanks to Robert Keegan for facilitating the gathering.