Swanwick Star Issue No. 10 (2017)

Study Reports

 

I was fortunate enough to spend all of September 2017 on retreat at the Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada. I’d found my way to the Centre in June for a few days’ retreat, and was awed by the stunning location, the charming buildings and rich libraries, and the warmth and kindness that I felt from the people who care for the place. I had been in the midst of some general life upheaval, and the timing seemed ideal; I inquired as to whether a longer retreat would be possible, and was delighted to be welcomed back for a full month.

I spent my first week at the Centre meditating, reading, exploring the grounds, and attending the reading and discussion groups on the weekend. In my second week at the Centre, Oda Lindner was giving a workshop on yoga and body-meditation. I hadn’t actually planned on taking the workshop at first, but spending some time with Oda and taking her demo class earlier in the week gave me an inkling that it might be important to incorporate some yoga and physical activity into my retreat.

I’m still extremely grateful that I took this workshop, because I almost might have missed out on a vital component of my study retreat. It’s easy for me to get stuck in my brain and ignore my physical body. Oda’s workshop offered a conscious, slow approach to staying connected with the breath and body, and helped me set the foundation for my explorations throughout the rest of my stay. Not only that, but my partner Matthew, who stayed at the KECC as well for part of the month, was inspired to offer a short, related workshop on connecting with the breath and voice in relationship with others.

Early on, Oda drew attention to the mind’s innate tendency to want to achieve some goal, and asked us to check in with ourselves as to what our motive might be from moment to moment, even in a simple moment like choosing to do a yoga asana. My favorite K quote that I discovered on my June visit is: “You can understand a problem only when you don’t condemn it, when you don’t justify it, when you are capable of looking at it silently, and that is not possible when you are seeking a result.” It’s helped me a great deal to ground myself when I consciously notice my mind wanting to spin off into problem-solving mode. But Oda’s comment about motive helped me become more aware of the subtler activity happening at the unconscious level, when I’m not fully aware that there may be something I want, but I feel an internal conflict that something isn’t “right” and “should” be changed. It’s become easier to catch my mind pushing towards a goal I didn’t know I had, and quietly let it go.

Kirsten Starcher

 

 

After coming back to Vancouver from my visit to the Krishnamurti Centre, I wondered why I waited so long.  Krishnamurti has been one of my biggest influences over the last 20 years, and I’ve hosted Krishnamurti discussion groups in Vancouver over a decade ago.  The center is a perfect place to look inward and find new ways of being.

In my study plan I wrote that I’d investigate my own inner tendencies of what Krishnamurti would call violence, e.g. trying to control oneself, conforming to an ideal, or acting out of “shoulds”.  I also wanted to investigate the feeling of “home” – often that sense is elusive to me, and he described once that he always felt at home wherever he is.  The center itself was conducive to that – a perfect mix of simple living and beauty.

My perception of beauty changed; in the city I’ve since noticed how much energy is spent trying to block perceptual inputs, such as noise pollution, social pressures, and cognitive dissonance in communication.  In the simple times at Swanwick, there wasn’t any need for that, and so there was a relaxing into more unconditioned awareness, and from that a perception of beauty grew naturally.  This beauty wasn’t of trying to get there, such as in an art gallery studying paintings in depth with focus, but naturally, from a relaxed responsiveness.  Krishnamurti connected responsiveness, a full ability to respond with one’s being, with the feeling of home, and I felt some of that.

Michael Spears