Self-inquiry with Jackie McInley
Sunday, November 12, 2023
Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada
538 Swanwick Rd., Metchosin, BC
There was a relatively small turnout of seven people (total) for this Sunday afternoon event at the Metchosin location of the Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada. The session was facilitated by Jackie Mckinley, who continues her visit to Canada. She started the meeting with a period of silence which gave time for participants to sit with what they might wish to explore in the group on this occasion. Jackie suggested that people see if there is some issue or question that is resting somewhat heavily in their awareness and which they feel would be worthwhile to explore more deeply. One person revealed that she would be interested in investigating the issue of psychological pain that she found arising in herself somewhat often. Jackie then gave us some guidance as a group, suggesting some questions we might ask ourselves about any such pain that we experience.
– What is psychological pain for each one of us?
– How can we explore it?
– Is it to do with our images of ourselves?
– How can we get in touch with it when it may be that we usually don’t talk about the pain and tend to keep it quiet?
This led to sharing by some participants on the subject of feeling a sense of lack, not being good enough, and a fear of being nothing or a nobody. One group member spoke of his creating an edifice of himself as a significant person but knowing at the same time that the creation is not authentic.
Jackie asked what it is that’s driving the need to be somebody, which seemed to encourage group members to open up more fully with what was going on in their subconscious minds and which had been shaped and conditioned by their early life experiences. It seemed that a major factor was not getting the love we (and everyone) needed as children.
Another participant brought up the importance of loving ourselves and providing the support we need from our own inner resources.
It was an interesting exploration of some very important questions and issues faced by most – and perhaps all – of us. Jackie pointed out several times towards the end of the meeting that Krishnamurti questioned the activity of looking outside ourselves for love or validation. This subject will no doubt be further explored in future gatherings.
DB
Exploring Ourselves, January 7, 2024
/in Event Summaries /by David BruneauExploring Ourselves
January 7, 2024
With Jackie McInley
Zoom Online
Ten people in total were in attendance for this Sunday Morning online meeting. We began with some questioning of what kind of awareness Krishnamurti was talking about for so many years. Was it an awareness without a controller? Was it self-consciousness, or something different? Was it beyond self-consciousness, with a quality of freedom, mystery, or an inexplicability? Can it be “understood”? Is it separate from the body or one with it? Is it separate from thought? Are thought and conditioning the same? If there is no thought can there be conditioning? Is it possible to speak from the depth of consciousness or is thought always creating some element of conflict, usually without realising that it is doing so? And how do we see what thought is doing in us? There is so much projection in our thinking that conflicts are often not seen with any clarity, for example in family dynamics.
There were some questions about our approach to these issues. Are we having some insight or just thinking? Is there partial insight or full insight? Can we slow down the inquiry so we can see the insecurity of our thoughts? What about the uneasy feeling we have as we get closer to the sense of not knowing, of touching the unknown? In the experiential domain, can we stay in our vulnerability and feel the stresses that arise as we explore ourselves? Jackie asked the interesting question “What is the true sense of peace?”
Other participants wondered if we ever truly wake up or are we most often in a dream state. Are we caught habitually in various assumptions? Can we see that we are never really a victim and, if not, how is it missed? Is sadness “mine” or is it a universal phenomenon? If we sense that much of our experience is common and shared, does that bring us closer to other humans?
Sometimes the dialogue seemed to create that sense of shared meaning.
DB
Self-inquiry December 3, 2023
/in Event Summaries /by David BruneauSelf-inquiry
December 3, 2023
With Jackie McInley
At 538 Swanwick Rd. in Metchosin
(the Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada)
Thirteen people in total were present for this, the last meeting with Jackie on her present trip to Canada. She picked up on a subject that had been looked into during the previous meeting in Victoria: the idea of the “mask” and if we are functioning with or without one. How authentic are we in our moment-to-moment interactions with each other?
Once the idea of the mask had been re-introduced we sat for five minutes or so in silence. There was a comment that it was nice to have such a quiet beginning. Then Jackie gave her usual short introduction to the dialogue and responded to a few inquiries about what is allowed in it. Anything is allowed, she explained. We can talk about and explore anything we wish to, but it usually is more meaningful when we focus on some issue that has some weight for us. A spontaneous silence came upon the group for some minutes, at which point one participant took the risk to expose his mask by sharing some of the insecurities and anxieties that were commonplace for him in his daily life and the self-definitions that went along with those feelings. He ended by summarising his ideas about himself with the words “I am a loser.”
Another participant challenged the first by asking “Why, then, does the mask continue to exist?” Various members of the group contributed ideas about the dynamics of group interaction. “Is it common to project a mask in such a situation? Does everyone feel insecure when speaking out in front of a group? It was suggested that Krishnamurti is offering an alternative experience in that he is speaking of a process of self-observation that can be applied to any life situation. Such a close watching of one’s responses can bring in a fresh perception of oneself which involves a continuous learning about oneself and a questioning of the habits of thinking that are determining one’s experience. Such observation can create a space in oneself where a kind of freedom is revealed. The session concluded with what seemed like a satisfactory feeling of peacefulness and harmony.
DB
Self-inquiry, November 29, 2023, with Jackie McInley
/in Event Summaries /by David BruneauSelf-inquiry, November 29, 2023
With Jackie McInley
Esquimalt Gorge Park Pavilion
Victoria, BC
Ten people were present for the penultimate session of this visit to Canada by Jackie. She will be missed. Her skill in reflecting back to the group what its members have expressed and suggesting directions we could move to deepen our inquiry has made her facilitation extremely effective and valuable. To begin this session, Jackie brought forth the phenomena of the “lone wolf” and that of The Hundredth Monkey in the behaviour of certain animals in nature. She mentioned that human beings display similar patterns, which have been taken by scientists such as David Bohm to offer “hope” that we could find ways to cooperate and live in a greater state of harmony than we have up until now. One group member asked at this point if there was fear in the group and a self-protectiveness which might prevent a working together on the part of humanity.
Another participant asked if we have an understanding of how to deal with fear when it arises. How can we transcend fear when it appears? Can fear sometimes be an impetus for a healthy response to life situations? Can we “go through” our fear, and do we in fact actually have any choice in the matter? Is there a fear that actually is us, without separation, and without it being “my” fear?
We asked whether the source of fear is thinking, especially the generation of the “I” or “me” thoughts which form our identity. Is there a “me” which is creating the fear? And along with that, is there a motive for getting rid of fear, which keeps us caught in fear? Can there be a “seeing” of what is going on without a drive to find a resolution? Can there be a seeing with our whole being? These and other questions kept our attention for the full time of the meeting and then we had to draw it to a close.
It seems that our dialogue meetings have progressively taken on a sense of cooperative harmony and exploration that brings us together in a real search for truth and, perhaps, even love.
DB
Self-inquiry, November 26, 2023
/in Event Summaries /by David BruneauSelf-inquiry
November 26, 2023
With Jackie McInley
At KECC Metchosin
Eleven people were present for this Sunday afternoon meeting at the Swanwick Road location for the Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada. The session was facilitated by Jackie McInley, who is visiting us from the UK and lending her passion and skill with group dialogue to assist our attempts to engage in meaningful discussions or “meditations” about the nature of self-exploration and self-discovery. Without being an authority, she “leads” the groups in looking into questions about ourselves and about life as we are experiencing it. As the setting is one where people have an interest in what J. Krishnamurti has said about such matters, the subjects of “study” are usually related to self-knowledge and insight into our own nature, both as individuals and as members of the human race. Sometimes the investigation takes a turn into unexpected directions, but these often turn out to be interesting in surprising and challenging ways, which was the case in today’s session.
When the attendees were asked what they would like to discuss, one participant introduced a topic involving the keeping of secrets and the creation of a disharmony when such “secrets” were held within and not shared with the group. On the other hand, it was pointed out how such secret behaviours that one may have engaged in, when shared, can break down barriers and promote a greater sense of communion and cohesiveness within the group. Some group members felt that such sharing might be “dangerous” in that others may have strong judgments about the behaviour described. In such cases conflict and division might result from a lack of trust in the results of such sharing. There was a question of what would be helpful to share and what would not and some degree of fear about taking such risks.
The conversation turned towards the almost universal experience of loneliness and the depth of the human need to find comfort in transcending our sense of isolation and separateness. The exploration of loneliness went quite deep and there was some resistance to ending the conversation. It seems that these group meetings have taken us into depths that we are reluctant to leave for the more superficial levels of oursurface interactions and relationships. At the same time, there may be an awakening of uncomfortable feelings and sensations which can be difficult to “be with”. Still, being with them seems necessary in order to penetrate them and “go through” a kind of “death” process wherein the “ego” self may dissolve and freedom from the self may be realised.
DB
Self-inquiry, November 22, 2023
/in Event Summaries /by David BruneauSelf-inquiry
Wednesday, November 22, 2023
With Jackie McInley
Esquimalt Gorge Park Pavilion
Six participants attended this meeting sponsored by the Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada and held at the Gorge Park pavilion in Esquimalt (Victoria), BC. When the group was asked if anyone had an important issue to explore with the group’s help, one person spoke of her difficulty in communicating with a particular person and asked for reflections from group members on how to approach someone who seemed to thrive on argument and disagreement. There were quite a number of responses to the question, which was considered sometimes a challenging problem for all of us in our daily lives. The importance of honesty and truthfulness was emphasised along with the question “Is it necessary to have an ego with all the conflicts it produces in our relationships?” Jackie asked if we are really prepared to look into the question. Such investigation may demand that we let go of defensive positions and attitudes to which we are accustomed. To begin with, can we admit that we don’t understand the depths of what we are looking at?
Inquiry into such issues may reveal that we are avoiding something in ourselves which the thought process or “ego” finds threatening somehow and which engenders fears we feel uncomfortable being with. We looked at the complexity of boredom and its suppression of fear and insecurity in our experiencing. The conversation probed more and more deeply into the realities of “emptiness” and loss and how they can take on an “existential” meaning and challenge in us. This seemed to touch on universal issues in many. And the question remained, “Are we really interested in dialoguing about such deep issues?”
DB
Self-inquiry with Jackie McInley, November 19, 2023
/in Event Summaries /by David BruneauSelf-inquiry
Sunday, November 19, 2023
With Jackie McInley
At KECC Metchosin location
This Sunday afternoon meeting was attended by ten people, most of
whom were familiar participants in dialogue meetings sponsored by the
Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada. There was quite an intricate
sharing and weaving of thoughts, perceptions, questions, and challenges
to our assumptions and subtle concepts or activities of the mind.
Jackie began the session by asking the group “Do we have the energy to
inquire?” The question took us back to some recent meetings where we
had questioned the level of intensity we were bringing to the inquiry. We
then continued to probe into the subject of self-observation or
self-looking and the possibility of realising some significant degree of
freedom within the process. It was asked what was generating our
“energy” within a group, with care to notice how the concept of energy
was being used. We examined for some time the question “What are we
– or what am I – alert to in the dialogue conversation? It was suggested
that the most important factor in shaping the experience was the arising
of the “me” idea which tends to creep into our thinking regularly as we
talk and express ourselves. Are we alert to the “me” as it enters the
conversation and thought identifies with it and with the images that form
the idea of “me”? And do we see that the me is always looking for
security and stability in its movements. It was questioned if thought and
its movements are reliable or not given that thought is so often seeking
security in its activities. It seemed that we touched on some fairly
profound discoveries concerning the nature of the self. There was a
sense that the meeting had been both interesting and worthwhile in
terms of inquiry and self-exploration.
DB
Self-inquiry with Jackie McInley, November 15, 2023
/in Event Summaries /by David BruneauSelf-inquiry with Jackie McInley
Wednesday, November 15, 2023
At Esquimalt Gorge Park Pavilion
Victoria, BC
Twelve people in total were present for this Wednesday afternoon meeting sponsored by the Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada and held at the beautiful new pavilion in Esquimalt Gorge Park. The idea of hosting the meetings in Victoria is to make them more accessible for people living in town than having to drive out to the Centre in Metchosin.
As is usually the case, we began with about five minutes of silence followed by a brief talk by Jackie introducing the subject of “dialogue” to those not familiar. Somewhat surprisingly, she pointed out that we were not here to learn something or to become something (more free, loving, clear, etc.) The intention of dialogue in Krishnamurti circles is to see what we actually are. What is driving our lives in ways we may not be aware of? Can we see, within the group interactions, what is actually going on within us, within our thoughts and feelings, in a fresh and revealing way? Can we discover something new about ourselves?
Jackie asked what we would like to look at today and told a story of some happenings that had taken place while she was facilitating a dialogue group online a few days before. The incident had produced some conflict within the group, apparently based on a fear of offending other individuals. It was suggested that a desire for cohesion would inevitably create some conflict and the group spent some time looking at issues arising out of opposing desires for cohesion and individuality. Could the two co-exist? We explored some of the ways thought creates our reality and our world.
During our communication Jackie remarked that there was a lack of intensity in the group which she was experiencing as boring and “incoherent”. She wondered if asking a question about our sense of fear when speaking in front of a group would open up the dialogue and make it more “interesting”. She asked if we all felt fear when in such a situation,which opened up several avenues of inquiry. Themes of connection and disconnection were brought forward and it was suggested that attachment to an identity blocks connection and love. Is it possible to feel our vulnerability and yet not get caught in the full impact of feelings like guilt, for example. Can there be a sense of being stressed
without losing the sense of space which surrounds our feelings and thoughts? This seemed like a valuable theme to pursue, but it was time to bring the meeting to a close. Participants were quite animated as they packed up and departed.
DB
Self-inquiry with Jackie McInley, November 15, 2023
/in Event Summaries /by David BruneauSelf-inquiry with Jackie McInley
Wednesday, November 15, 2023
At Esquimalt Gorge Park Pavilion
Victoria, BC
Twelve people in total were present for this Wednesday afternoon meeting sponsored by the Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada and held at the beautiful new pavilion in Esquimalt Gorge Park. The idea of hosting the meetings in Victoria is to make them more accessible for people living in town than having to drive out to the Centre in Metchosin.
As is usually the case, we began with about five minutes of silence followed by a brief talk by Jackie introducing the subject of “dialogue” to those not familiar. Somewhat surprisingly, she pointed out that we were not here to learn something or to become something (more free, loving, clear, etc.) The intention of dialogue in Krishnamurti circles is to see what we actually are. What is driving our lives in ways we may not be aware of? Can we see, within the group interactions, what is actually going on within us, within our thoughts and feelings, in a fresh and revealing way? Can we discover something new about ourselves?
Jackie asked what we would like to look at today and told a story of some happenings that had taken place while she was facilitating a dialogue group online a few days before. The incident had produced some conflict within the group, apparently based on a fear of offending other individuals. It was suggested that a desire for cohesion would inevitably create some conflict and the group spent some time looking at issues arising out of opposing desires for cohesion and individuality. Could the two co-exist? We explored some of the ways thought creates our reality and our world.
During our communication Jackie remarked that there was a lack of intensity in the group which she was experiencing as boring and “incoherent”. She wondered if asking a question about our sense of fear when speaking in front of a group would open up the dialogue and make it more “interesting”. She asked if we all felt fear when in such a situation, which opened up several avenues of inquiry. Themes of connection and disconnection were brought forward and it was suggested that attachment to an identity blocks connection and love. Is it possible to feel our vulnerability and yet not get caught in the full impact of feelings like guilt, for example. Can there be a sense of being stressed without losing the sense of space which surrounds our feelings and thoughts? This seemed like a valuable theme to pursue, but it was time to bring the meeting to a close. Participants were quite animated as they packed up and departed.
DB
Self-inquiry, November 12, 2023
/in Event Summaries /by David BruneauSelf-inquiry with Jackie McInley
Sunday, November 12, 2023
Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada
538 Swanwick Rd., Metchosin, BC
There was a relatively small turnout of seven people (total) for this Sunday afternoon event at the Metchosin location of the Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada. The session was facilitated by Jackie Mckinley, who continues her visit to Canada. She started the meeting with a period of silence which gave time for participants to sit with what they might wish to explore in the group on this occasion. Jackie suggested that people see if there is some issue or question that is resting somewhat heavily in their awareness and which they feel would be worthwhile to explore more deeply. One person revealed that she would be interested in investigating the issue of psychological pain that she found arising in herself somewhat often. Jackie then gave us some guidance as a group, suggesting some questions we might ask ourselves about any such pain that we experience.
– What is psychological pain for each one of us?
– How can we explore it?
– Is it to do with our images of ourselves?
– How can we get in touch with it when it may be that we usually don’t talk about the pain and tend to keep it quiet?
This led to sharing by some participants on the subject of feeling a sense of lack, not being good enough, and a fear of being nothing or a nobody. One group member spoke of his creating an edifice of himself as a significant person but knowing at the same time that the creation is not authentic.
Jackie asked what it is that’s driving the need to be somebody, which seemed to encourage group members to open up more fully with what was going on in their subconscious minds and which had been shaped and conditioned by their early life experiences. It seemed that a major factor was not getting the love we (and everyone) needed as children.
Another participant brought up the importance of loving ourselves and providing the support we need from our own inner resources.
It was an interesting exploration of some very important questions and issues faced by most – and perhaps all – of us. Jackie pointed out several times towards the end of the meeting that Krishnamurti questioned the activity of looking outside ourselves for love or validation. This subject will no doubt be further explored in future gatherings.
DB
Self-inquiry, November 8, 2023
/in Event Summaries /by David BruneauSelf-inquiry
Wednesday, November 8, 2023
With Jackie McInley
Esquimalt Gorge Park Pavilion
Eleven people were present for this Wednesday afternoon dialogue meeting at the lovely Gorge Park pavilion. Jackie McInley was again facilitating the session and, as always, she did an excellent job of keeping the dialogue on track with searching questions and comments. She began by saying that people have always met in groups to talk over problems and have found the format of sitting in a circle to be very conducive to worthwhile communication. In a Krishnamurti dialogue, she pointed out, participants might think the structure was quite different in some ways. We look at problems both individually and as human beings who share many issues and challenges, both physically and psychologically. Beginning with his statement that “the first step is the last step”, we look at our assumptions about what life is. Our individual awareness shapes how we experience the world, but we might not be aware that our thoughts are creating a reality. Our inquiry is to discover ourselves and the universal nature where we are all the same. We may get a sense of our particular responses to each other and also of how our responses are conditioned by our society and upbringing.
Jackie asked if people would be interested in sharing what they understood from Krishnamurti’s teachings, which stimulated some interesting feedback. Some of it seemed overly complicated and there was a request to keep our ideas more simple to follow.
Another group member asked what was the most important question for us, and it was suggested that the issue of separation was the core problem for humans. This led to a rather intense interaction exploring separation and why it is a problem. The focus on trying to meet our needs was looked into and a question was raised concerning how we are creating separation NOW in this very moment. It was asked if we have the intensity to really be with the question. Could we go beneath the current level of our state of consciousness and be with a deeper feeling or experience. One participant offered that, for him, it was fear that was underneath but we may be afraid to look. Jackie agreed that we are often afraid to look at the fear but that may not necessarily always be the case. Further inquiry is needed into the matter.
DB