What is Real Inquiry?
What is Real Inquiry?
March 20 – 24, 2024
With Jackie McKinley
Zoom Online
Jackie joined us online from the UK for two hours each of five days with the intention of going deeply into the question of what inquiry really is. Five days was considered to offer enough time to penetrate the issue in a way that might open up some significant “understanding” or insight into what J. Krishnamurti meant in his talks and writings by inquiry and/or self-observation. Fourteen people were present, including staff working with the Krishnamurti Educational Centre of Canada.
After the usual silent period Jackie shared a wondering about why people keep coming back to participate in the group dialogue process as “practised” within the context of Krishnamurti’s teachings and his approach to self-knowledge and self-transformation. And is the first step, the way we begin, important? What goes on behind the activity of thought or “the mind”? Is there actually much inquiry, looking, or observation actually going on? Are we actually aware of what is happening in our unconscious minds, our conditioned consciousness, as individuals and as expressions of the human race? How much do we miss when we look within ourselves? Are we aware or are we just thinking?
Jackie narrowed down the question to “What do I really want?” and encouraged group members to share their responses freely. Some of the answers were as follows:
– I want to understand what conditioning is
– I want to live in awareness as a felt sense
– I want to practise inquiry
– I would like to move beyond expectations and to see myself directly
– I want wholeness
– I would like to be involved in self-inquiry in a fuller way
– I want to share with others and explore our connectivity as humans
– I want clarification
– I want to have more fun in my life
– I want to be more alive
– I’d like to understand the source of my difficulties and I need help with this process
– I want honest communication
– I want intimacy, a pleasurable sharing with others physically, emotionally, and intellectually.
– I want distance from others at times
One participant expressed that as we engaged in the sharing he felt there was a kind of “peeling away” which felt like intimacy. Another asked if we were pushing down our desiring or wanting, and what happens when we do that? Are there desires I dare not look at? Do I fear being judged for my desires? Do I have space for looking at my wants, my fears, and my secrets? Would I just like to relax? Can I step out of myself? Does our sharing open us up or the opposite?
The feelings of “emptiness” and fear were mentioned and the issue of “managing” such feelings was discussed. We went into numerous such questions over the course of the five days, seeking greater revealing of our hidden tendencies, beliefs, and ideas. At times the inquiry process seemed very challenging to stay with and it was difficult to keep finding the meaning in what was being shared, though we kept pushing more deeply into the layers of our thinking and feeling. Core aspects of our identities were brought forward and the way we hold on to “content” in our way of behaving and relating or “let go” of it was examined. We asked if we have hidden motivations and, if so, how do we discover them? Are we really creating a “safe space” for each other?
The subject of contradiction in ourselves was raised. Krishnamurti maintained that thought is contradictory in its very nature. We often avoid the contradictions that influence our lives. Are we “doing” this by choice or is it mostly unconscious behaviour? How clearly do we see the movements of the “I” in all our thoughts and actions and is this an important aspect of “meditation” as K speaks of it? Do we resist inquiry at a deep level? Are we using thought to explore thought and is that not limited? What did K mean when he spoke or wrote of “negation”?
Over the five days of dialogue we seemed to cover a great deal of ground. Towards the end our attention moved towards the meaning of “love” and the reality of “sorrow” and “separateness”. Finally we came to the question of “emptying” the consciousness, which seemed to bring a sense of completion without a sense of conclusion.
Thank you, Jackie, for your wise and skillful guidance into the realm of inquiry
